The Wet T-Shirt Story
Okay, here’s a good one to make you laugh. Let me set up the scene for you: I went to the same college that my dad teaches at. While I was there my friend Heather (H.Bo) and I were co-chairs of pretty much every committee, including the social committe – which means we put together all the parties, beer bashes, winter carnival, awards & grad ceremonies (we were the student reps for the last two), etc. So, fairly close to the start of the year (probably late September/early October) we were planning the first beer bash and decided, hey, we have all this money that came from the students, let’s get some insight from them to see what they want us to blow the dough on. So we split up and went to a few different classes to chat w/the students and, of course, I headed down to my dad’s class.
Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with my dad, he’s not Bill Cosby and we did not have a relationship like Tony & Sam from Who’s the Boss? He’s more like Red Foreman from That 70’s Show only a hundred times scarier when pissed off…and I’m Fez!
So, I mosey into the class and I’m explaining to these guys (yes, all his students were male – and creepy) what I’m doing there and ask for their feedback – no answer, just blank stares. After a few minutes of trying to get some info (I want to scream out "use your words!") I finally just say "c’mon guys, this is your money we’re spending, whaddya want us to do with it?" FINALLY one lone voice in the back of the room yells out "I want to see a wet t-shirt contest!" I replied "Oh ya do, do ya?" (Hick, I know). He says "I want to see you enter and win a wet t-shirt contest!" – LOTS of laughs from the rest of the guys. Now, as far as my dad is concerned I’m still 8 and I don’t have boobs. It’s never been discussed. So I look at the guy, then look at my dad who’s half grinning but staring this guy down (you can tell that he just wants to rip him apart) and then back at the guy and I say "You realize your teacher is my father…" and the smirk instantly disappears from fuck-nut’s face and is now showing signs of sheer terror, and I point to him and finish "…and you just failed your class!"