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The Untimely Death…of a Friendship

We’ve mostly all been there…experienced the end of a friendship without an explanation or even a bit of being in the know.  Losing a friendship is a hard thing to go through.  And it’s even harder when you’ve had no notification or justification.

I had a friend.  We were pals all thru elementary school (starting in Primary) and thru high school and beyond.  We used to hang out all the time.  We went to parties together, went shopping together, I even got her a job with me years ago.  Eventually I moved in just up the street from where she and her then-boyfriend lived.  And she house-sat directly across the street from me.  She was one of those friends who was always in your back pocket.  And then one day she was gone.

Without notice or explanation she cut me off.  No, she cut me out….out of her life and I haven’t heard from her since.  Occasionally I will see her pop up on Facebook (just in passing since she also removed me as a friend) and I can see that in the few years since she booted me from her life she has gotten married to a new guy (the one I believe she may have cut me off for…she’s one of those girls who will do whatever it takes for her beau) and had a baby. 

I, at first, made several attempts at communication.  I sent her emails explaining that during our last communications – by phone and email – all was well and that I’m not understanding what had happened.  I’d asked her several times for at least a reason or explanation on why she is throwing away our 25+ year friendship.  I never received a reply.  Ever. 

One day I got really peeved and had had enough.  I sent her a wonderfully semi-nasty email telling her how immature she was and if she ever decided to grow up and grow a backbone and let me know what exactly the problem was I would be happy to hear it.  But I’m so done with it. 

In all honesty, yes, it hurts.  It saddens me – I think mostly because I just don’t have a reason.  But I still pray for her happiness and well-being and I know that some day she might break down and let me know.  But I have moved on.  I really don’t have room in my life for fairweather friends and I refuse to be a doormat to ANYONE.  So, until the day that I hear something from her (I’m not holding my breath) I will continue to think of her on occasion and wish only good things for her.

Cheers to my REAL friends.  😉

~Sandy

Me and "my former friend" in happier times....many years ago (well, maybe 4 or 5)

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3 responses

  1. Yup, Sandy you definitely have hit a nerve with me on this one… And as I am sure, each of your faithful followers. It’s amazing how a friendship that spans more than 2 decades can be cut off without reason or forethought for those 2 decades. One day, that friend of yours will come calling when she needs you to lean on and, like always, you will be there for her… You are a wonderful person and we all know, that we can lean on you when we need someone strong.

    July 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm

  2. One of my besties, Stephanie, who’s kknown me for about 20 years, has often said that my biggest downfall is that I am too forgiving. And it’s partly true. I will not let people walk over me but I will often give friendships more chances then they deserve.

    July 20, 2011 at 1:52 pm

  3. changingmoods

    Seems to be the theme of a few blog posts I’ve read lately—the ends of relationships, whether both parties have moved on amicably or have abruptly severed ties.

    I’m sorry that that happened to you. I wish she could give you the respect you deserve and explain why she abruptly ended the relationship.

    July 23, 2011 at 4:17 am

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