Things I Learned in College
Well, it’s been way too long since my last post but my new job has me running ragged and I’m so tired all the time. Actually, I don’t think it’s so much the new job as it is my thyroid. I’ve had a requisition from the doctor to have blood work done since just after Christmas but dragging my ass out of bed at 6am is just not my cup of tea. 😦 One of these days I will get to the blood lab. In the meantime, here’s a little post.
Things I Learned in College
#1 – If you show up late for class, drunk, and tell your instructor you had an allergy attack, she will believe you and let you off the hook. (It also helps when you and your sidekick are teacher’s pets.)
#2 – If you get a parking ticket on a daily basis because you continue to park in loading zone, you can realize that you can save the ticket and re-stick it in your window every morning and continue to park in said no parking zone.
#3 – If you jam your finger when working at a charity event you’ve organized and develop blood poisoning from your injury, the doctor will see you at emergency, will tell you it will get worse and expects to see you again in a day or two (as opposed to just dealing with the issue at the time), and send you home, only to see you again the following day (as expected) after you’ve passed out in class. He will then hook you up with IVs (including morphine), cut your finger open and proceed to hit on you (in front of your mom!!).
#4 – If you break your ankle on a job interview (as part of your practicum) it will guarantee a position with the company and make you famous at your campus. (It also helps that you have a winning personality, great sense of humor and be an honors student.)
# 5 – When you pass your dad, who is faculty, in the halls on a daily basis, he will ignore you.
#6 – When you and a dozen or so of your friends skip class to hang out in the student lounge and watch “A Walk to Remember”, it is guaranteed that you will all bawl like babies, including the 6 guys with you, causing stares from the numerous passersby in the halls.
#7 – When working on an accounting project in the computer lab, porn WILL pop up, even tho your campus has spam blockers. (You will also encounter several more pop ups for each time you attempt to exit out of said pop ups.)
#8 – While away from said computer lab to attend a physio appointment for said broken ankle, the computer you were using will continue to pop up porn in your absence. Your instructor (and friends) will think this is hilarious and not classify you as a pervert.
#9 – Visiting the BK Lounge twice in one day or on a 4 day a week basis is not a nutritional diet but does yield way for phone numbers from potential suitors.
#10 – Spending way too much time (i.e. 15 hours a day, 6-7 days a week) with college BFF/co-student government rep/sidekick will cause the following
a) her cell phone to ring constantly for you because everyone knows that where she is, you are
b) her to be your “ambulance driver” per your numerous injuries
c) her to write your last name as hers when signing into a lab because you do spend too much time together and, well, it’s just been one of those days
#11 – Having one of your father’s students tell you he wants you to enter and win a wet t-shirt contest will cause that student to fail (see my previous post “The Wet T-Shirt Story” https://welcometosandyland.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/the-wet-t-shirt-story/)
#12 – When you are in charge of co-organizing every friggin’ event, including the awards ceremony, and have a hair appointment and a doctor’s appointment the same day as said ceremony, and your hair turned out too light but you have to run to get to the doctor (re. broken ankle) and don’t have time in between appointment and awards ceremony to fix said light hair you make do with what you’ve got and proceed to get a little drunk for the evening*. 🙂
* The best part of this story is that Heather and I co-organized this event (with all the others) and we decided on $2.00 drinks. Each time I “marched” down the aisle to accept an award my dad, who is faculty and was sitting close to the podium, would hand me a Toonie for another drink. It made for a good night. Especially since I accepted about 14 or 15 awards that night! (No, I didn’t drink that much – pocket change, y’all!)
#13 – When you participate in a Chubby Bunny contest for winter carnival you are there to WIN!!
#14 – When you and said BFF/Co-chair/Sidekick SWEAR you’ve had enough and are gonna be drunkish for graduation, you stick by your word…..and end up looking like this:
Hope you had a good laugh! I loved college!