I’ve debated writing today. I’ve debated writing about this. I can’t imagine the pain and grief and horror the parents and families and friends and the children….oh the children… in Sandy Hook, Connecticut are experiencing right now. I can’t. I just can’t fathom it.
I was out of the loop yesterday – boxed up in my new office, unaware of what had happened in another part of the world – until I was driving home and heard the news on the local radio station. I teared up instantly. Thoughts of Columbine ran thru my head. Sadness overwhelmed me. They’re just children!! Who…WHY would anyone do this???
Of course when I got home, safe, in my cozy little place where I lit up the Christmas tree, made Christmas cookies and watched holiday movies, the channels were flooded with coverage. CNN, Anderson, Piers, and my local networks were all working on reporting on what had happened. I tried not to watch. I didn’t want to see it. I want to remain immune to what had happened in the United States. In a small community. In a frigging elementary school!!!!
But the truth is, I can’t remain immune to it. Because that horror happened yesterday. Children, babies – aged 5-10 – were murdered. Innocent babies and innocent people…ripped away from their families. For what reason? Does anyone even know?
I cried last night. As I’ve cried today. And likely, I will cry tomorrow. I am not a parent. But I am an aunt. And I am a “step” parent. And most of all, I am human. How can anyone not feel sorrow and pain and sadness for what happened yesterday? I can’t imagine being in that community and not feeling completely and utterly helpless and lackluster and just……sorrow. I just can’t contemplate that type of pain.
Watching tears fall from President Obama’s face and hear the crackle in his voice as he spoke about this tragedy, seeing Anderson Cooper speak to several parents who have children in the school, witness Piers Morgan explode with anger as his guest(s) tried to defend gun use….it was overwhelming.
And by the way….what the hell was that teacher (and the mother of the shooter) doing with all those weapons…..ESPECIALLY an automatic assault rifle? I realize that (it’s reported) that she purchased them legally, but WTF? Why did she have them? Why would she need them? Let me tell you, if I found out that my nephews’ teacher had those kinds of weapons (or any weapons) I would freak the eff out!! I’m sure most parents would likely feel the same. Yes, I realize it’s one’s right to bear arms but why does any person need an automatic assault rifle?? Ridiculous.
I’m just so angry and sad and confused. There are so many questions to be answered but the truth is, no answer will ever make any of this make sense. During a month where there should be laughter and love and joy and celebrating these families will be planning funerals and mourning and remembering a devastation that they will never, ever forget.
May God bless this community and these families and may they, somehow, find some sense of peace during this tragedy.
Today, I hope you will hug each other. Put aside differences and petty anger and silly disagreements and remember that your life could be a lot worse. Be thankful for your life, for the people who are in it, and…just love.
And may the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting Rest in Peace.