Welcome to SANDYLAND!!

PHAT with a P.H.!!

“Is It Ever Okay to Comment on Someone’s Weight?”  I saw this article recently and thought I’d “weigh” in on the subject.

So, is it ever okay to comment on someone’s weight?  Well, that depends.  Are YOU a doctor?  No?  Then mind your own business!!

I grew up kinda chubby.  Not really fat but definitely not thin.  In high school I had several eating disorders (see: https://welcometosandyland.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/my-secret-obsession/) and slimmed down.  After high school I maintained my weight for a while, then gained some and in college lost some.  But it was after college that I “ballooned” up.  In college I had a little accident and spent 14 weeks on crutches and then a few weeks with a cane.  This, of course, hindered my exercise regime.  After college, when I started dating my now ex-boyfriend and he moved in, my weight started going up.  In part because I was eating differently with him.  I was never a meat and potatoes type of girl, but he was so I began eating meals with him.  That definitely affected my weight.  Also, I was on a medication that, aside from some crazy-ass night terrors, a side affect was weight gain.  It took me years, however, to realize that this medication was a factor in me packing on the pounds.  I knew I had put on a ton (pun!) of weight, I just didn’t completely know why.

But here’s the thing – and it’s important – I knew I was fat.  I didn’t need anyone else to point it out to me.  I knew I had grown out of my college clothes.  I knew I didn’t look or feel my best.  I knew that my jiggly parts shouldn’t be that jiggly. Was I proud of being fat?  No.  Was I embarrassed of being fat?  Yes.  Would it have been mortifying to have someone point out the obvious, that I was overweight?  You’re friggin’ right!  I would like to believe that I would have been a strong enough person, emotionally, to punch a person in the face had he or she addressed my weight issue.  But, the truth is I would have cried for days and days.  I would have been ashamed and embarrassed.

I know people judged me.  I know they still judge me.  We all judge each other.  It’s an unfortunate part of human nature.  But, we should, as often as we can, try to put ourselves in the shoes of other people and try not to be assholes.  Fat people know they’re fat.  But whose business is it to comment on it?  Aside from a medical professional, it’s no one’s business.  It’d be like telling a person with a lisp that he/she had a lisp.  You think that person doesn’t already know?  Now, you’re an asshole and that person feels like a big bag of nothing because you pointed out that he/she talks funny.  Dick.

Just to be clear on this….commenting on someone’s weight is different than addressing a health concern with a loved one.  When I was overweight my dad would often (and kindly) tell me that I should do what I can to try and get my weight down because it’d be “harder to do when you get to be my age.”

The article I read which prompted this post (http://www.chatelaine.com/health/wellness/is-it-wrong-to-call-melissa-mccarthy-fat-or-simply-stating-the-obvious/) has film critic, Rex Reed calling actress Melissa McCarthy “tractor-sized” and a “humongous creep”.  To add insult to injury, this isn’t the first time McCarthy’s weight has been the topic of discussion.  But I’m not going to address that at all because I refuse to give that writer any more “celebrity.”  The issue at hand for Mr. Reed should be whether or not the movie sucked (I can’t comment because I haven’t seen it – tho I want to…and I will.  Up yours, Reed!) and whether or not Melissa McCarthy can act…and she can.  In fact, she’s a great actress.    I enjoy her.  I think she’s funny and I also think she’s beautiful.  Do I think she’s overweight?  Who cares?  I’m sure she has addressed this issue to death.  Do I feel the need to make comment on her weight when discussing her performances?  No.  I  don’t.  At all.  A) Because it doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t affect her ability to say her lines or hit her mark.  She’s a believable actress.  B) Because it’s none of my business.

Phat!  With a P.H., bitches!!

Phat! With a P.H., bitches!!

It’s also unfortunate that it seems to be “overweight” women who are targeted for this ridicule.  It’s never “Pencil-thin” Gwyneth Paltrow or “nearly-invisible” Claire Danes (LOVE AND KISSES TO YOU BOTH!!!).  And men never seem to have the same weight-watchers that their female counterparts have: Chris Farley (RIP), John Candy (RIP), John Goodman (OMG YOU RULE!).

If I weren't already gonna marry Cole Hauser, I'd ask YOU to marry me!

If I weren’t already gonna marry Cole Hauser, I’d ask YOU to marry me!

These dudes ruled the roost.  Their performances funny and dramatic and right on cue…and (rarely) (n)ever did a critic seem to be concerned with their weight or that they were “tractor-sized.”

Regardless of the gender, tho, it is never right to comment on someone’s weight.  That person could be suffering from an eating disorder or the loss of a loved one or could have a medical condition or could be overweight from a condition not yet diagnosed.  Or that person could just be fat because he or she is fat.  And guess what.  He/she is well aware of it!  So, be a good person and keep your trap shut.

Cheers.

 

Advertisements

3 responses

  1. Love your comments. I’ve been heavier and I’ve been thinner too. When I was heavier, people constantly reminded me that I was bigger and how they felt bad for me. When I was thinner as a result of exercising regularly, people still hassled me by saying that I must be one of those girls who never eat and that I’m disgusting. Some people just seem to think it’s easier to judge others rather than judging themselves. It’s like you said, people should just be good and keep their comments to themselves.

    February 19, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    • Exactly my point(s). Whether I’m heavy or thin or in between, who gives anyone the right to comment on it?

      February 19, 2013 at 7:51 pm

  2. Ibitz

    I don’t even know where to begin with this… Suffice it to say that I am in agreement with you on all accounts… The female actors are all scrutinized, while their male counterparts are not. It is a division that needs to be worked on so that women are not judged because they wear a size 12.

    If you eat healthy, are comfortable in your own skin, who gives a flying **** what you look at? I have made many comments to Steve about how I look, and he always responds with “Your body turns mine on”. Need I say more???

    March 5, 2013 at 3:22 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s