Vote for Me
My friend Julie over at GoJulesGo is hosting a “contest” of sorts and I’m in the running (currently in 1st place). Because I’m such a huge dork and am comfortable enough to share that, please go to her site and vote for me. You never know, maybe I’ll host a contest soon and YOU could be the winner. 😉
http://gojulesgo.com/2013/03/28/vote-for-my-final-3rd-spouse-candidate/
Cheers.
PS – Do I get sympathy votes for telling you I’ve been stuck wearing this damn heart monitor all week AND that it snowed? If you’re willing to give me sympathy votes I am fully happy to accept them. 🙂
Reasons Why Norman Reedus and I Should Be Friends
So, now that I’ve given in to Blair and Jesse suggesting I watch The Walking Dead, I’ve gotten over my fear of the Zombie Apocalypse taking over my home and I’m completely obsessed with addicted to obsessed with the show and am doing my best to play catch up with the episodes.
And can I just say that I’ve totally jumped on the Daryl Dixon bandwagon.
The dude is completely badass and, the same way I feel that Drew Barrymore and I should be friends, I fully believe that Norman Reedus and I should be buddies (I loved him in Gossip). Here are just a few reasons why:
1) Norman likes to wear a fedora
I like to wear a fedora
2) Norman has a titanium eye-socket (a result from a car accident in 2005)
I just had eye surgery
3) Norman likes to flip off the camera
I like to flip off the camera (this is usually following a bottle glass or two of wine
4) Norman takes great group shots with his friends
Steven Yeun, Norman Reedus, Andrew Lincoln
I love taking group shots with my friends
I’m the bookend on the left
Still the bookend on the left
5) Norman can rock a tiara
I can rock a tiara AND I’m already kind of a princess
6) Norman makes this face
Bitch please, I’m always making this face
7) Norman takes pictures of his cat
I’m eventually gonna end up the crazy cat lady
8) Norman wears cool concert Tees
Jim Cuddy totally signed my concert shirt
9) Norman likes to stick out his tongue
I find absolutely nothing wrong with it
10) Norman likes to give rabbit ears
Amy yelled at me after this photo was taken
11) Norman likes to wear sunglass…a lot
I never leave home without them
The bigger, the better
12) Norman and his friends know how to take a good pic
I like to train my peeps
13) Norman rides a motorcycle
I had a dirt bike growing up (which I drove into a guardrail, tore my kneecap half off and was soon fitted for my plastic bubble)
14) Norman parties with Chewbacca
I grew up on Star Wars, plan on naming my first born after his father, HARRISON FORD (Hahaha) and verily believe that the only pet better than my 20 lb cat is a Wookie!
15) THIS PICTURE:
I bought this shirt: https://welcometosandyland.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/here-kitty-kitty/
Well, there you have it….just a few reasons why Norman Reedus and I should definitely be friends. The only reason I won’t be friends with him – this video:
He says “amazing” way too many times and y’all know how I feel about that: https://welcometosandyland.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/1875/ Tsk Tsk.
But Norman is still cool.
Cheers!
Think Before you Speak (or Write)
One of my friends has this posted as her Facebook status: “Not to be rude but Gemini’s are smarter than the rest of you combined.”
And I REALLY want to reply “Not to be rude but you don’t need the apostrophe in ‘geminis’.”
Oy!
…And I’m a Libra. How d’ya like them apples?!
Cheers.
Happy First Day of SPRING!!
My Expectation
Sun and warmth and flowers and greenery…
My Reality…dammit!
(Okay, it’s maybe not that bad but it’s still storm and enough that there are tons of cancellations today….not a good way to start the season.)
Mother Nature is a bitch, y’all. Welcome to Nova Scotia!!
Cheers!
The Devil Went Down to…the Market
I am embracing my inner winner (my, that sounds dirty) and posting my favorite commercial.
I crack up every time I see it. I love at the end he says “Is there somethin’ goin’ on?” as if he’s waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and Punk him. (And I totally just watched it four times in a row and laughed out loud each time.)
And I think the dude that plays the devil is kinda hot….hooves and all.
Cheers.
Letting Life Pass Me By or How I Sabotaged My Life
Several years ago, just after Facebook exploded, I was approached by a guy I’d “met” online (it’s not like that. Keep reading). He and I had both contributed to a certain online forum and he’d been following my writing.
We became friendly (again, not like that. He and his same-sex partner reside in Ontario and, plus, I’m not a lunatic and don’t hook up with people from online) and began corresponding and occasionally had phone conversations. He is a life coach and after being “friends” for a while, corresponding via email, Facebook and a few small phone calls, he one day phoned me with a business offer….He wanted to join forces and put together a program: a website, literature and eventually a book. He’d be the coach, we’d brainstorm together and he wanted me to write.
It sounded so great….a kind of long-distance, too-good-to-be-true kind of fairy tale. But, after some consideration, I determined I was too much of a pussy and probably didn’t take him too seriously and I eventually declined his offer.
He continued with his idea….At first he had a great little online newsletter. Then his website sorta blew up. Then he had several television appearances (as a life coach) and just this weekend he had a signing for his 3rd book. I’m so proud of him but I’m totally calling myself out for being such a big baby and not making that leap. Dammit. Fame and fortune could be mine. In the words of Mikey-the-Goonie “All that rich stuff…”
Here’s to Bruno: http://www.brunologreco.com/
- Bruno LoGreco: Master Life Coach and cool dude at his recent book signing
- One of Bruno’s books…*sigh* What could have been…
Cheers.
A Love-Struck Romeo…
Yesterday we had gorgeous pre-Spring weather here in Nova Scotia. It was sunny and warm and all the crappy feet of snow have melted over this last week (which, BTW, I was excited for as no snow will greatly help us out in the search for Mark Clarke who has been missing since February 4th: https://welcometosandyland.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/missing-person/). So, imagine my disgust when I woke up this morning to a winter wonderland. I’m devastated. I hate winter. We’re six days away from hitting Spring and were soooo close yesterday but now we’re back to snow-covered ground again (it’s an ongoing joke that Nova Scotia has 4 seasons – winter, almost winter, more winter and road construction).
However, as I was opening my office this morning I happened to look out the window and saw a man dancing down the sidewalk thru the snow. He reminded me of the delivery dude in the Romeo & Juliet scene in Empire Records (love!!).
(watch at 1:29 in)
The man totally made my Friday. 🙂
A happy one to you all!
Cheers
PS: Yesterday morning I sent a message to my friend Anic saying “Happy Friday Friend!” An hour later I sent another message “Oh shit…it’s only effing Thursday! FML”
Her response: “Nahahah.”
It was a very.long.week.
From the Minds of Children
So, yesterday my friends Steve & Jaime (fellow asshole) were returning from a 3 week vacation/cruise. Earlier in the week I’d sent Jaime an email with a link to a blog on choosing wolf sweaters which we both thought was hilarious because, I mean, come on, WOLF SWEATERS. Jaime replied from the Fort Lauderdale airport and I decided to post our lame-o conversation. (I’ve had to edit a bit because Jaime has a potty mouth.)
Why I Will Not Be Watching “The Following”
Back before Christmas I’d seen many advertisements for Kevin Bacon’s new series “The Following.” It looked soooo good and so intense and I was excitedly counting down the days until it started.
DAYYYYAMM!! He looks Good!!
And then it did. On a Monday night…late in the evening (which made me stay up waaaay past my bedtime. But I watched it. And I liked it. But then I went to bed. And then I got up. Turned on the lights. Checked the lock on my door. Checked the closets. Went back to bed. Got up again. Rechecked things. Got some weird looks from big, fat white cat. Went back to bed. Then something fell in the middle of the night and scared the bejezus out of me. So, SandyLand slept with some lights on. And earplugs in (hear no evil, y’all!). The next couple of nights were similar. Then, Blair and I watched episode two of “The Following” and I am full-on full of paranoia now – more than I had been. So, I had to make the grown up (aka big baby) decision to not watch this show anymore. Dammit. I really liked it too, but I sleep alone several nights of the week…it was just too much stress (and fear). And now I’m even paranoid when I get home after dark or have to take compost out to the bin in the evening. Searching with my eyes to see what’s lurking in the dark. It’s just too much and I have enough problems with my heart and anxiety.
So, I gave “The Following” up cold turkey. But recently, Blair and my friend Jesse have convinced me to start watching “The Walking Dead.” And not being too bright I heeded their advice. I’ve watched I think 4 episodes so far and last night all I dreamed about was zombies, zombies, a baby on a slide, and zombies. WTF is wrong with me??? I should know better.
VERY. BAD. IDEA!!!
(Don’t make eye contact, y’all.)
But, I smartened up. I made sure not to make eye contact with the “walkers” on the TV screen. And I put a chair against the door before I went to bed. Because, I whole-heartedly believe that a chair will definitely keep a zombie apocalypse out of my house.
I think from now on I am going to stick with “Glee” and “Hawaii Five-0” (hello EYE CANDY) and reruns of “Friends”….and of course, this week is the return of “Grimm” but Grimm is cool and Monroe is hilarious (and Nick and the Captain are more eye candy) so I’m safe with that.
Being a freak and scared of everything has made my life so that I find something spooky in everything. I can’t even look around at the houses after dark for fear that the aliens from “Signs” will be perched on the rooftops ready to swoop in and take over the earth. And I just don’t think I’ll look that great in a tinfoil hat.
These will protect our brains….right?
Let’s just say that I can admit that I prefer to live in a world where people sing and there are rainbows and butterflies and good things happen. I prefer to remain oblivious to the the evil that lurks in the TV.
Me = Oblivious
Cheers.
Mop Bucket
In my previous post I made mention of how my former employer was super sweet yet extremely intimidating. So, here’s a little story.
I’ve always been outgoing, chatty, friendly. But I get intimidated. I DO NOT like making eye contact with people…not even some of my closest friends. And if I’m accosted in this manner and am not able to break away from their stupid eye contact I usually just end up laughing. I’m surprised I haven’t been punched yet.
Anyway, back in my early Tim Horton’s coffee-serving days I was sorta shy and nervous….especially around the boss man. He comes across as kind of gruff….but, like I said, he is a darling and he’s sort of goofy.
So, one day, in between busy streaks, I was out in the back of the store filling up the mop bucket (which, btw, I hated and tried to pawn this task onto everyone). The hallway to the mop sink is very long and narrow with shelves of product aligning both sides the four miles all the way down. So, as I’m heading up the hallway to go mop the damn floor Boss Man comes down the hall toward me. I’m darting my eyes to the floor, to the yellow brick road laid before me, to the mop bucket….anywhere, as long as I could avoid looking at this scary man. As I get closer to him I attempt to scrunch up my shoulders thinking that will help me with evading him in this narrow hallway. Suddenly, he darts in front of me…so I try to sideline him but he stays in my way. Then he backs me into a shelf and gets right in my face and says “Man your eyes are blue! They real?” I nearly shit my pants!
Free wine at weddings makes one pose funny.
Had I not been terrified of this man back then and remained with my smartass way of living I would/should have tapped on my eye and said “Nah, it’s glass.” and kept on walking. Unfortunately, I was so terrified at that moment that I simply mustered “uh, yeah.” and pushed by him with the mop
Cheers.
