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Why I Will Not Be Watching “The Following”

Back before Christmas I’d seen many advertisements for Kevin Bacon’s new series “The Following.”  It looked soooo good and so intense and I was excitedly counting down the days until it started.

DAYYYYAMM!! He looks Good!!

DAYYYYAMM!! He looks Good!!

And then it did.  On a Monday night…late in the evening (which made me stay up waaaay past my bedtime.  But I watched it.  And I liked it.  But then I went to bed.  And then I got up.  Turned on the lights.  Checked the lock on my door.  Checked the closets.  Went back to bed.  Got up again. Rechecked things.  Got some weird looks from big, fat white cat.  Went back to bed.  Then something fell in the middle of the night and scared the bejezus out of me.  So, SandyLand slept with some lights on.  And earplugs in (hear no evil, y’all!).  The next couple of nights were similar.  Then, Blair and I watched episode two of “The Following” and I am full-on full of paranoia now – more than I had been.  So, I had to make the grown up (aka big baby) decision to not watch this show anymore.  Dammit.  I really liked it too, but I sleep alone several nights of the week…it was just too much stress (and fear).  And now I’m even paranoid when I get home after dark or have to take compost out to the bin in the evening. Searching with my eyes to see what’s lurking in the dark.  It’s just too much and I have enough problems with my heart and anxiety.

So, I gave “The Following” up cold turkey.  But recently, Blair and my friend Jesse have convinced me to start watching “The Walking Dead.”  And not being too bright I heeded their advice.  I’ve watched I think 4 episodes so far and last night all I dreamed about was zombies, zombies, a baby on a slide, and zombies.  WTF is wrong with me???  I should know better.

VERY. BAD. IDEA!!!(Don't make eye contact, y'all.)

VERY. BAD. IDEA!!!
(Don’t make eye contact, y’all.)

But, I smartened up.  I made sure not to make eye contact with the “walkers” on the TV screen.  And I put a chair against the door before I went to bed.  Because, I whole-heartedly believe that a chair will definitely keep a zombie apocalypse out of my house.

I think from now on I am going to stick with “Glee” and “Hawaii Five-0” (hello EYE CANDY) and reruns of “Friends”….and of course, this week is the return of “Grimm” but Grimm is cool and Monroe is hilarious (and Nick and the Captain are more eye candy) so I’m safe with that.

Being a freak and scared of everything has made my life so that I find something spooky in everything.  I can’t even look around at the houses after dark for fear that the aliens from “Signs” will be perched on the rooftops ready to swoop in and take over the earth.  And I just don’t think I’ll look that great in a tinfoil hat.

These will protect our brains....right?

These will protect our brains….right?

Let’s just say that I can admit that I prefer to live in a world where people sing and there are rainbows and butterflies and good things happen.  I prefer to remain oblivious to the  the evil that lurks in the TV.

Me = Oblivious

Me = Oblivious

Cheers.

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2 responses

  1. That tin folil hat comes from one of my favorite movies. That had its scarey moments! But nothing as scarey as Kevin Bacon in a weekly TV show. Liked him in a Few Good Men and disliked since that river movie with Meryl Streep. Now…..what are we going to do about peeping-tom Easter Bunnies?

    March 22, 2013 at 1:14 pm

  2. Haha! I love it! I actually do watch The Following because it is so obnoxious, it is unrealistic. I cannot watch Walking Dead. Nope.

    May 22, 2013 at 5:20 pm

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