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Archive for April, 2013

The JUNO CUP Runneth Over

So, somehow I missed the Juno Awards this past Sunday night. The Junos are kinda like the Canadian version of the Grammy Awards. Canada has a lot musical talent and we like to recognize that. I’m a huge supporter of Canadian music (Blue Rodeo is my fave) and I don’t know what I was doing or what rock I was living under the last few weeks because I honestly had no clue the show was scheduled to be on…..I think maybe I’ve been catching up on The Walking Dead a little too much.

But, missing the Juno Awards also means I missed the Juno Cup. (The Juno Cup is a yearly hockey game held in conjunction with the Juno Awards, first conducted at the 2004 Juno Awards. The games match National Hockey League alumni with artists and entertainers as a charitable benefit for MusiCounts, a music education charity operated by the CARAS. The Juno Cup has helped raise more than $700,000 for MusiCounts (formerly known as the CARAS Music Education Program) which in turn supported music programs across Canada. Each game features a team of current or former NHL players (NHL Greats) who competes against a team composed of musicians (The Rockers). The NHL Greats have won each Juno Cup except in 2009.)

I love the Juno Cup…it’s a fun experience and the money raised goes to charity, and since my main man Jim Cuddy (of Blue Rodeo, duh) has often been a team captain of the Rockers, of course I’m always stoked to watch. So obviously I’m a little bitter that I missed it.

So, imagine my delight when I received an email from the Blue Rodeo website (yes, I’m a dork huge fan) with some highlights from the Cup, including this great Locker Room Rock Out to “Life is a Highway” to honor the great Tom Cochrane.

Great idea and made my evening (well, that AND a few drinks with the girls). And you can see for yourself that drunken, sweaty, just-played-a-crazy-game-of-hockey-for-charity-before-an-awards-show Canadians certainly are talented.


Dude, You’re in Public

Certain things make me question why some people are left to their own devices….and permitted to be let loose in public.

A few days ago I was on a coffee date with a friend. As we were chatting away a few people she knew came into the coffee shop and over to say hi to her. I’ve never seen these people before and hope to never see them again.

While in mid-conversation, one of the girls, someone probably in her early 30’s) began flossing her teeth with her long, dirty hair.

I thought that I had mis-seen what I saw but as I stared in horror at her she, sure enough was flossing her teeth with her hair.

THAT’S DISGUSTING!! I’m sorry, I know people all have their quirks and habits but how gross is that???

I didn’t say anything to her because I was looking like this:
Staring at her with my face all snarled up, and I may have even thrown up in my mouth a bit.

Maybe I’m overreacting a bit but, no wait, I’m not overreacting. It was gross. So gross. Are ya with me?

Some people should just stay home.


Free Cat

I have been suggesting getting an office kitty. It’s being contemplated. And this morning a friend posted the following ad on his Facebook and we are having a good chuckle in my office over it. I think it sounds like a perfect fit:

โ€œAnyone looking for a really great cat? He’s all black and Siamese I think, howls profusely at 6am every morning, attacks people at random, 5 years old and still can’t figure out what that litter box is for, likes pissing in bath tubs and shitting on floors, will start fights with other cats only if they don’t fight back, oh I could go on longer but you get the point. Any takers? I’ll cut a great deal on this rare specimen of an animal. His name is Jack, but won’t respond to anything but food.โ€


Ant takers?


Awkward Moments of the Week


We’ve all had them…those awkward moments when…here are the highlights of my week.

#1 – While at the gym the other night I looked down and realized that the underwire from my bra had poked its way out and made its way mostly out of my shirt. Awkward.

#2 – In Zumba class a few days ago my ankle turned over and I darn-near collapsed. I did this wobbly dance and almost took my friend down with me. Meh, awkward.

#3 – While at the gym and on the treadmill I adjusted my tops/chest to keep the “girls” from popping out and noticed that an older gentleman, who is one of my former teachers, was watching me. Awkwaaard.

#4 – After not sleeping the 2 nights prior to having a service worker into the office and dragging my ass around in zombie-like form, said service worker and I were chatting about something; I didn’t catch what he said so I asked him to repeat it. He did. I still couldn’t fathom the words coming out of his face so I stared at him for a long time, made an odd sort of laughing noise and walked away. Uncomfortably awkward.

#5 – A client, who happens to be an antiques collector, was telling me about some of his most recent finds. “You should see the ugly pottery I bought today. It’s art. And unique.” He said and offered to bring it in. My response: “I look forward to seeing your junk. *pause* OMG that sounded HORRIBLE!” AWKWARD.

Dance to Your Own Drummer

Remember the band, A-Ha?

They are a Norwegian pop group and back in the mid 80’s they had a smash hit “Take on Me” that topped the charts with it’s poppy, catchy beat. Do you remember it? If not, here’s a little refresher:

So, last Monday in Zumba class we danced a new routine to “Take on Me” but I had such a hard time focusing because all I really wanted to do was bust a move on my own to the song…reminiscing un-aesthetically pleasing 80’s dance moves that resembles something of a fit. I did my best to hold off and just follow along with the coordinated routine to make the most out of my fitness class.

However, when Thursday night’s class rolled around and the song was played, co-hort Tina and I just let loose and bounced around the room to our own drummers. I let the music get me.

And I don’t regret it. I went home that night and added the song to my iTunes so that it will always be on hand when Winston and I have our Friday night dance parties.

Don’t judge me.



#1 Over the last several months I’ve been working thru some health issues. Aside from the insomnia (which makes me horribly cranky and unable to function properly, leaving me, at times, not knowing what people have just said because I’m so damn tired, making them repeat sentences two or three times and then I will stare at them until they just go away), my heart has been acting up, I haven’t been able to lose weight and things are just pissing me off.

Some background:
My heart has been giving me “trouble” since high school. I started having palpitations, chest pains, skipped beats and racing and slowed beats to the point of passing out. I had to wear a heart monitor a few times to record “events” and I had several tests done as well. (Also to note, my grandmother had two heart attacks by the time she reached her early 40’s and by 45 she had a pacemaker put in.) When I was 19, after tests and this and that, I had some dillhole heart specialist tell me I’d have a pacemaker by the time I was 30. My family doctor was pissed!

Anyway, over the years and with the improvement of my lifestyle (healthy eating, exercise addiction, etc.) my heart palpitations subsided somewhat. On occasion I would have chest pains or skipped beats and whatnot but not to the extremities that I had had when I was younger. But then, this mid winter I started experiencing more frequent chest pains and heart palpitations – skipped beats and racing to the point of gasping for breath, and also the physical reactions of anxiety attacks. At first I thought it was all a side effect of my “bootcamp”** exercising but things have not gotten better. So, eventually I went to see my doctor. She sent me for more tests; blood work, EKGs, another wearing of that super sexy heart monitor. Then, two days after I stopped wearing the monitor I thought I had a mild heart attack. I was at Blair’s working out on the eliptical and I got struck with the most intense chest pains I’ve ever had. The only way I can describe it is by saying it felt like I was being stabbed and electrocuted at the same time (although, I’m just guessing. I’ve never actually been stabbed. Electrocuted; li’l bit.). The pain knocked me over and I grabbed my chest, gasped for air and made a noise that scared the shizz out of Blair. I should have made the decision right then and there to go to the hospital but I’m stubborn and stupid and let the pain subside.

So, the other day I went back to my doctor. My blood work has come back super-duper but we’re still waiting on the results of the monitor. And I have an appointment to see the heart specialist (Internalist?) in 2 weeks. My doctor, of course, yelled at me for not getting my butt to the ER last week.

**Now, comes the other shizz (I like the word “shizz” almost as much as Thoughtsy over at Thoughts Appear likes “asshat”): This Bootcamp that I started a few months ago is a hybrid of exercises. As you may know, I’m a little obsessed with exercising. It runs my life. At first I thought it was a healthy addiction but addiction is addiction. So, I work out, at minimum, 6 days a week (sometimes 2 or 3 tiems a day), two of those days I’m at the gym for 3 hours (2 hours in the actual gym then an hour of Suzi’s intense Zumba), the rest of the week I rotate between the gym or videos at home (Insanity, P90X, etc. and as of April 1st I’ve also been participating in the 30 days Squat challenge). I use weights, do a lot of cardio, work on my abs (they’re under there somewhere!), etc. etc. etc. Unfortunately, my weight has plateaued. And I am super-pissed.

I work my ass off. There are days that I come to work after not sleeping, barely able to stand up, but follow thru with my regime….even if it means dragging my butt to the gym for those three hours when I can barely keep my eyes open. And to not lose weight is frustrating beyong belief. (The 16 year old recovering anorexic/bulimic inside me still can’t get past the number sometimes.) Of course, I brought all of this up to my doctor and even asked her if she was familiar with Overtraining Syndrome, as it’s something my Zumba instructor is going thru. She and I share a lot of the same symptoms (hello, heart palpitations) but my doctor doesn’t think that my health concerns or plateau are related to this “syndrome” so it’s leaving us to question what it could be since my eating habits are healthy healthy healthy and my bloodwork has proved that, aside from my heart problem, I am healthy (my cholesterol levels are “impeccable”). So, I’m left wondering and fighting with myself once again. One thing that everybody and their dog seems to be suggesting is that I should cut down my exercising. I know this may seem like any easy answer and one that makes sense but, like I said, addiction is addiction and I’ve been exercising daily for years so for me to quit “cold turkey” gives me some anxiety and guilt.

#2 Back at the end of September I had surgery on my eye (see here) and have been attending appointments since then to see (pun!) how my improvement/healing is coming along. I’ve had A LOT of appointments and several CT scans of my eye. My vision has been improving although my sight still isn’t up to par. Currently my vision is 20/20 although I still can’t properly see in my left eye. I know that sounds weird but it makes sense, trust me. Anyway, 5 weeks ago I had a CT scan and was told I could stop taking all of my drops because the swelling was still coming down in my eye and hopefully (hopefully, Doc??) it would continue to come down sans drops. But yesterday I went back for another CT scan and Doc is a little concerned because my improvement/healing has plateaued. At this point things are sort of up in the air.

Sooo….in a few months I’m going back for yet another CT scan, although this time it will be with a new higher tech machine and they’ll be able to see (another pun!) more and figure this shizz out. I will, however, need to go back on more drops and then, he said, have medication injected into my eye. INJECTED. Injected with what? I asked. With a needle. Another needle in my eye. Oh my chest! Pains. Chest pains.

In conclusion to all this: I hate Pleateaus just as much (maybe more) as I hate needles. And I really hate needles. Especially needles that go in my eye. Especially needles that go in my eye while I’m fully conscious. We’ll see (I LOVE PUNS!) how things go.


Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Now that The Walking Dead has ended for the season (big BOO!!) I can finally sit down and share with you my plans for avoiding surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, aside from putting a chair against my door to keep them out.

In the event that my future BFF Norman Reedus (see here) is unavailable (as Daryl Dixon) with his cross bow
daryl-dixon-funny-zombie-pictures here are some other ideas that will save me from said Apocalypse:

– Lead zombies to treadmills. They’ll walk for infinity.

– Play Michael Jackson’s Thriller…because it’s awesome and all zombies should partake in the Thriller dance. It just makes sense.

– Play loudly Carly Rae Jepsom’s Call Me Maybe because that song is annoyingly catchy and it makes everyone want to join in and sing and dance.

– Ask zombies to “Use their words.” (That’ll stump ’em.)

– Introduce them to Alicia Silverstone’s The Kind Diet. (Vegan zombies don’t eat people.)

– Hug. More than likely the zombies are just having a bad day. And everybody likes a good hug.

– If you get bit by a zombie….pee on your wound (or, do as Joey and Chandler do and “step up” to pee on your friends) because, let’s face it, a zombie bite is probably the same as a jellyfish sting. Right?

– Do like Katniss What’s-her-head and sleep in a tree. Zombies can’t climb trees. They’re stuck on the treadmill, remember?

– Let George Clooney calm them down. That man could talk me into anything.

Um...what was I saying?

Um…what was I saying?

– Ask the zombies to decipher Shakespeare or to figure out a math equation. Zombies hate math.

– Invite zombies to partake in a chubby bunny contest. Maybe they’ll choke on their marshmallows.

– Send them on an Easter egg hunt but don’t hide any eggs. ๐Ÿ™‚ (This works to keep children occupied well.)

Juuuuust Kidding

April Fools, Sucker!

April Fools, Sucker!


Sorry all, obviously my latest post was a big, fat lie.

But, to make things even for you I’ll tell you about LAST year’s April Fools Day.

Blair and I were away the last weekend of March last year and returned April 1st. Once home for a few hours, I received the following text mid-evening: “I think we need a break.” I was in shock and devastated. I phoned him immediately but he didn’t answer (said he was getting Abby ready for bed) so I texted him and said I was on my way down (because, c’mon, he’s not Britney Spears and we’re not breaking up by text). So, as I packed a quick bag and headed to my car, bawling the entire time. Again, I tried his phone but he still didn’t answer. Then I got a text from him saying “April Fools.”

So rude. AND he’s the fool because it was in the evening and April Fools ends at noon. Dumbass.



Hello hello hello Blogosphere. Welcome to Spring (finally). Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I actually wore a dress and bare legs. Thank you, Mother Nature for finally letting up on being a bitch and allowing us some sun. It was a glorious weekend. ๐Ÿ™‚

But, I have some serious news. It’s been a little while in the making but it’s finally happening. I am moving. Several months ago I applied for a “dream job” of sorts. It was on a whim and I decided to go forth with it, never actually expecting it to turn into anything. But, not too long ago I received some follow up, discussed my options and have decided to jump ship here and have accepted a position as a writer with a small publication in New York City. I’m overwhelmed. Sad, yet excited.

I am full-on a Valley Girl and will always consider this my home but right now this is the opportunity of a lifetime and since I’ve already let one opportunity pass me by (https://welcometosandyland.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/letting-life-pass-me-by-or-how-i-sabotaged-my-life/) I couldn’t let this one go.

So, here I go. In less than 3 weeks I will be a New Yawker. Wish me luck.