Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
Now that The Walking Dead has ended for the season (big BOO!!) I can finally sit down and share with you my plans for
avoiding surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, aside from putting a chair against my door to keep them out.
In the event that my future BFF Norman Reedus (see here) is unavailable (as Daryl Dixon) with his cross bow
here are some other ideas that will save me from said Apocalypse:
– Play Michael Jackson’s Thriller…because it’s awesome and all zombies should partake in the Thriller dance. It just makes sense.
– Play loudly Carly Rae Jepsom’s Call Me Maybe because that song is annoyingly catchy and it makes everyone want to join in and sing and dance.
– Ask zombies to “Use their words.” (That’ll stump ’em.)
– If you get bit by a zombie….pee on your wound (or, do as Joey and Chandler do and “step up” to pee on your friends) because, let’s face it, a zombie bite is probably the same as a jellyfish sting. Right?
– Do like Katniss What’s-her-head and sleep in a tree. Zombies can’t climb trees. They’re stuck on the treadmill, remember?
– Let George Clooney calm them down. That man could talk me into anything.
– Ask the zombies to decipher Shakespeare or to figure out a math equation. Zombies hate math.
– Invite zombies to partake in a chubby bunny contest. Maybe they’ll choke on their marshmallows.
– Send them on an Easter egg hunt but don’t hide any eggs. 🙂 (This works to keep children occupied well.)