Shizz My Nephews Say
It never ceases to shock me some of the things that my nephews say.
J. and A. (who I lovingly refer to as Boy 1 and Boy 2) are now aged 8 and 5, respectively. Below are some of the humorous things they’ve said over the years.
A few years ago, before J’s 5th birthday, I told him I didn’t want him to turn 5, I wanted him to stay 4. He looked at me, shrugged and said “Aunt Sandy…that’s just the way it goes.”
My nephews love my cat, Winston (who doesn’t?). They love to visit him and will ignore me while chasin him around the house. Last year when the boys were 7 and 4 I had visited and on my way home stopped at the store to get cat food (big fat white cat likes to eat). I ran into my friend Shawn and his girlfriend at the store. Shawn and my brother are friends and, oddly enough, they were on their way to visit my brother. When Shawn arrived he told the kids that he’d just ran into their Aunt Sandy and she was buying cat food. A. said “Aunt Sandy doesn’t even have a cat. She eats the cat food.” And walked away. Shawn was like “whaaaaaat?”
I heard this story 3rd or 4th hand (DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT EAT CAT FOOD!!!) and (even tho it was pretty funny) when I asked A. why he said I eat the cat food he replied “because it’s funny.”
J. & A. were visiting their other grandparents not too long ago A. wanting a piece of candy (or something). His grandfather said he had a sweet tooth. A. inquired as to what that meant. The grandfather told him it means that he likes things that are sweet:
A. “Like chocolate?”
G. “Yes, like chocolate.”
A. “Like candy?”
G. “Yes, like candy.”
A. “Like MY FACE??”
Apparently, little 5 year old A. thinks his face is pretty sweet. In his defense, I do too.
Last year I took J. to the store while I was on my lunch break. My mom gave him $1.00 to buy something (she must think it’s 1950 because you can’t buy too much for a buck). He held his Loonie (that’s what we can the Canadian dollar coin) tightly and roamed the store. He found something he really wanted and it said $1.39. He was quite distraught but I told him I would give him the difference. He was pleased with that and was adamant that he was going to pay for the item on his own in the line. So he stood in front of me, handed the clerk his item. She asked him for $1.60. He instantly screamed “NOOOO!! It SAYS a dollar thirty nine!!!!” The clerk was startled at first then chuckeled. I was laughing and explained to J. that there was a tax we had to pay and it was okay, that I would pay for it. He was very pissed off.
Unfortunately, although he has much love for Winston, A. is allergic to cats and usually when he visits his eyes swell up and he starts sneezing and wheezing (visits are always exciting). He’s usually broken-hearted when he has to leave because he loves Winston so much (apparently, I’m chopped liver). While preparing for one of the boys’ recent birthday party their mom mentioned about doing the family party one day and doing the kiddy party Saturday afternoon. A. started hollering “No kitty party. I’m allergic to cats!!”
Last year I was out shopping with a friend and her 4 year old daughter, Soph. Soph’s dad had given her some change and she was determined to buy some jewelry. When we were finishing up our own shopping, Soph picked out the most hideous bracelet and decided that would be her purchase. When we were out of the store, Soph opened up her bag, slid the bracelet on her arm and said “See…it’s just my size.”
A few months ago I was at Blair’s watching the Golden Girls. Abby came out of her room asked what I was watching. I told her it was a show that was on when her dad and I were younger. She said “was that the Olden days?”
A couple of weeks ago when the sun finally broke thru and we had our first few days of gorgeous spring weather, my friend Jesse had asked her 6 year old daughter, Quinn to pick up her toys several times. The last time Jesse finally said “pick up your toys or I’m throwing them in the garbage.” Quinn replied “Do whatcha gotta do, I’m going outside.” Jesse called me and said “I think my bluff’s been called.”