I’ve heard some dumb and funny things this last week. And in lack of anything else to write about I’ve decided to post the best comments of the week.
1) By far, the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time:
Last week I was standing next to a group of people, all parents, all in their late 20’s-early 30’s. One of the ladies, while holding her daughter, said to the group: “Girls run in my family so by sure I’m gonna have a girl.” Um…..that’s not how that works.
2) My friend (and fellow asshole) Jaime and I went on a road trip this past weekend and stayed at a hotel. Our room number was 710. We’d gathered our bags and got on the elevator and just before the door closed Jaime hollered to the concierge and reception “What floor is room 710 on?” They both looked at her like she was stupid (naturally) and the three of us dryly replied “Seven.” Ohmergerd.
3) My adorable 5 year old nephew, A. loves to antagonize my mother for her fear of snakes. One day last week he said to her “I want to have a pet boa constrictor.” My mother, in disgust, said “Ew…why would you want one of those things as a pet? Why wouldn’t you want a pet kitty??” Nephew quickly replies “I’m allergic to cats.”
4) Back to Jaime again…in the evening at our hotel I was jonesing for something sweet so we walked down to Dairy Queen (apparently the only place to get ice cream in that area!). Jaime wanted a waffle cone with sauce (or something) on it. The clerk behind the counter didn’t understand exactly what she wanted so instead of figuring out to just add “extra stuff” per the menu board he simply said nope, he can’t do it. Jaime says “That’s ReDQulous.”
5) Back to adorable nephew, A…as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’ve had bronchitis. Midway thru it I had laryngitis for several days and on a Sunday I’d lost my voice completely. This was a day that I had to participate in a family gathering. I did my best not to talk much but when my nephews arrived my mom told A. to ask me something and then, upon hearing my scratchy, non-existing voice she told him “Aunt Sandy has a frog in her throat.” A. got me to open my mouth so that he could inspect my throat. He said “I don’t see it.” Cute. We all had a chuckle. A bit later, A. leaned into my mom and asked “Did she really eat a frog?”