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Archive for September, 2013

Day #13: Describe 5 Weaknesses You Have.

Weaknesses, eh?

1) My Nephews – I love my nephews so much.  They are absolutely adorable little blond, blue eyed sweeties.  And they know how to twist Aunt Sandy’s arm really well.  If they want something and they come to me with a little pout and say “Aunt Sandy….can I please have…..?”, Aunt Sandy will, like a sucker (most of the time), give in.  Sometimes I will just pop into their house for a hug and squeeze and a kiss and to call them little weirdos.  Because I love them that much.

2) The Sun – I know all the warnings but I still love to bask in the warmth of the sun.  Maybe it’s because I’m cold all the time.  The sun is my friend.

3) Exercise – If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I am addicted to exercise.  And even on the days I say I’m not going to work out…..I usually still work out.

4) Baby animals – It is my goal in life to hug a baby cow. (I actually just said this to Blair yesterday.)  Baby animals are so adorable.  Most of them anyway.  And I melt into a big pool of poo-poo when I see them: kittens, puppies, cows, chicks, raccoons, bears, owls, etc.  We got Abby a teddy bear hamster (Teddy) last week and even tho I am aware that it’s a glorified rat, Teddy is still so darn cute and friendly that Blair and I have been fawning over him like he is a baby cow.

teddy-bear-hamster5) Driving too fast.  Um, this is something I try not to do too often but judging by the amount of speeding tickets I’ve had in my lifetime (including 3 in the last five years), it seams that having a lead foot of sorts is a weakness of mine.  I am more careful now of where I speed but man!, sometimes I feel like the speed limit of 100 km on the highway is just not fast enough….I am very diligent these days of ensuring I don’t go past 110 (permitted) unless I’m by the airport….then I just follow suit with everyone else.  Vroom vroom.


PS Cole Hauser is a weakness, did I say Cole Hauser?  Because I meant to say Cole Hauser.

My other boyfriend, Cole Hauser.

My other boyfriend, Cole Hauser.



Day #12: Describe a Typical Day in Your Life.


Weekdays – Get up, feed and water animal.  Prepare for work.  Go to work.  Work.  Have lunch with Angie Whoreface and Kritt.  Leave work.  Work out.  (Monday = gym, Barre, Yoga / Thursday = gym, Zumba, yoga – every other day is either gym, run or home workout).  Some evenings (depends on his work schedule) I am shacked up with Blair, the other evenings I am home (quality time with animal).  Sleep.

Weekends – Get up, workout, prepare for the day.  Run errands (aka run the roads). Visit friends/family.  Head to Blair’s. Dilly-dally.  Prepare dinner and hang out.  Sleep.

This week is BIRTHDAY WEEK so there will be lots of running around and whatnot.  I am spoiled and I also like to spoil myself.  I’m not above that.



Day #11 – Describe a Few of Your Pet Peeves

Aghhhhh – this post is for tomorrow – Saturday.  (Published too soon. Dang.)


1) Bad Grammar.  OBVIOUSLY, being the Grammar Queen or Grammar Nazi as my friends so lovingly refer to me as, I loathe bad grammar.  I think a lot of it nowadays is pure and simple laziness.  Take some time…learn to differentiate between your and you’re.  Come to understand the meaning of past/present/future tense(s).  I can go on and on and on.  Oh…And learn how to use “I” and “me” properly.  This is one of my biggest peeves and it makes me angry.

2) Bad Manners (or non-existent manners).  Rudeness is not acceptable in my book.  Use your manners, please.

3) Chewing with your mouth open (this includes gum).  That thing on your face is called a nose.  It is often used for breathing.  Use it.  Close your mouth to chew your food and not smack your gum and breathe thru your nose.  Thank you.

4) Public bathrooms.  People are disgusting.  I wish everyone would treat a public bathroom like their own private bathroom.  I have a teensy tiny bladder and sometimes I just gotta go when I gotta go.  And SOMETIMES I would rather pee in the woods like an animal than use a public restroom because it is so disgusting (I think Starbucks is the worst).  Clean up after yourself.  Have better aim.  Flush the toilet.  Etc. Etc. Etc.

5) People/professionals who aren’t punctual.  I show up a few minutes early before a doctor’s appointment only to have to wait for close to an hour because she/he is running behind.  Also, if I’m meeting a friend (or a certain sister-in-law *ahem* {Haha. Just kidding. Love you.}) and I’m at our destination long before she has even left the house.

6) Inconsistencies in movies (or tv shows).  Because if something is wrong or said wrong then I will spend the next 45 minutes dwelling on it and will miss vital parts of the movie.

(That’s enough of my Peeves for the day, is it not?)


Day #10 – Describe Your Most Embarrassing Moment

After reading last week’s Karma Just Kicked My Ass and My Worst Nightmare and Something Happened on the Way… (where I was out for a run and fell in a ditch) you should by now realized that I have a lot of embarrassing accidents.  So honestly, it’s come to the point where I don’t get embarrassed that easily.  I mean, on my very first date with Blair I slipped and fell down the stairs.   Boom!  That is my life.

I guess, for an embarrassing story I can tell you about giving my Maid of Honor speech at my best friend, Stephanie’s wedding a few years ago and got so completely choked up that I couldn’t do it.  I mean, I love this girl.  She’s my dude and we’ve been besties since we were 16 (remember my story about going to her place for the first time and falling down the stairs?) and we’ve been thru so much together and I was overwhelmed with happiness for her and sadness that I was giving away my girl to someone else – regardless of how well she lucked out with a great guy.

But yes, that was horribly embarrassing.  Apparently Blair and my dad were nudging each other saying “Oh God” and “Watch this.”  (Thanks for the support, aholes!)  Eventually, I was able to give my speech to a smaller crowd and with booze in hand.  Whatevs.  It got done.  I’m sure if you continue reading you’ll hear more stories of my mishaps, new and old.




One Year

One year ago early this morning I was Going to See A Man about an Eye.  And I Survived that surgery (tho I cried A LOT!).  And since it’s been one year I thought I’d give you a little update.

Waking up later in the day - still high - not feeling so cool

Waking up later in the day – still high – not feeling so cool

I was actually at the eye doc earlier this week.  The last time I’d seen him a few months ago he was concerned that my eye wasn’t up to par with where he’d hoped it would be.  There was still quite a bit of swelling inside and tho my vision has improved my sight itself was blotchy.  So, he told me at that last appointment that more than likely he’d begin injecting my eye with medication to see if that would help speed things up.  (Insert Sandy freaking out HERE.)

Home from the hospital the following day....Winston missed me.

Home from the hospital the following day….Winston missed me.

However, at this week’s appointment he decided to forego the eye-dea (see what I did there?) of sticking a needle into my eye (thank the Good Lord for that one).  In fact, he says at this point there’s not much more he can do.  My vision in my good eye is better than 20/20.  My vision with both eyes is 20/20.  My vision in my bad eye is pretty darn good – however my sight is still off and it’s still blotchy.

Chillin' like a villain with my ghetto black eye about a week or so later

Chillin’ like a villain with my ghetto black eye about a week or so later

The surgeon last year said that it could take up to 2 years for my eye to heal and improve.  The doctor I saw this week (and have been seeing since post-surgery) isn’t sure if it’s going to improve any further than where it’s at.  I’m young, he says, and we can hope for improvement but right now there’s nothing more that can be done.  Just hope for the best.

These days-ish - And I wear this sweater a lot (I like to be consistent)

These days-ish – And I wear this sweater a lot (I like to be consistent)

I guess I shouldn’t complain – my vision is better than most people’s.  Blair says that without his glasses, my sight is a lot better than his.  So for now I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and hope for the best.





Day #9: What Defines You?

When I was younger I thought I was defined by my friends or by the clothes I wore or by things I did.  For a long time I thought I was defined by my weight or by my eating disorders.  And then by my education and my job.

Today I see things differently.  I define me.  The choices I make, my beliefs, my character:  the person I am at my core is who I am.

I see myself as pretty fly.  My perspectives have changed a bit but deep down I’m still the same person and carry most of the same traits and characteristics, beliefs and faith.  And I’m okay with that.


Y’know…this challenge has been a little more depressing and thought provoking than I’d originally thought.  Hopefully some humorous posts are around the corner.


Honest Joe

Years ago, after I split up with my live-in boyfriend, a friend talked me into going on a dating site.  I’m not really on board with internet dating sites and it took a lot of coercing from her but I eventually gave in and did it.  I was only online for a week or two and then shut down my account.  Way too many trolls for my liking.

I had many conversations (via the chat or inboxing) from prospective suitors including this one particular dude who I’ll refer to as “Joe.”  Joe is obviously not his real name – you will find out why soon enough.

Joe began sending me private messages that weren’t completely inappropriate…at first.  But as our minimal chatter grew I began asking him questions about himself and his work…figuring out who he was.

Soon enough Joe was sending me the inappropriate messages telling me that hr wasn’t looking for a relationship because he was currently engaged and that he wanted a fling on the side.  His messages weren’t lewd but they were still gross.  I’m kind of a prude and usually use avoidance as a good tactic when I’m uncomfortable but he didn’t get it and continued to ask me to be his booty call so I finally just came and said “You know who I am, right?  I know you.  You’re Bob’s brother. We’ve met a few times.  I was at Bob and Bertha’s wedding and I hung out with your mom at the bridal shower.”    I think right about then he choked on something.  Can open: worms everywhere.

Now this particular dude is a running candidate in our local elections and has his face plastered over signs and party vehicles everywhere.  And every time I see his slimy face smiling with his stupid ‘pick me’ caption I chuckle and think of the drama I could (but won’t) stir up with those saved messages.  Oh, the life of a politician.

Maybe he was campaigning for love.....

Maybe he was campaigning for love…..

Phone Troll

It is election time here in good ol’ Canada so of course the parties and candidates are doing their trolling.

I had an interesting/annoying phone call from the NDP last week. Horrible telemarketer.  Rude.  Kind of dumb.  Unintelligible.  (Sounded like she needed to blow her nose and like she was chewing her face.)   Here’s the thing:  if you can’t pronounce “constituency” then simply omit it from your script – don’t attempt to make up a word that sounds not even close to a bit like it to replace it.  Also, refrain from taking on a job that requires you to say the word “constituency”.

(Another FUNNY election story coming soon.)


Day #8 – What Are 3 Passions You Have?

#1 – See Day #7 re. My Dream Job (writing).

#2 – Fitness.  It is my goal to become CanFitPro certified.  In the meantime, I work out every damn day and attend a minimum of 4 fitness classes a week.

#3 – To finally have a Goonie adventure (although, I have had close calls in the past).  I think everyone deserves a Goonie adventure in life and my passion is endlessly seeking out that adventure.  If that means karaoke-ing it or challenging people to dance-offs or getting lost in the woods after dark while on a hike then so be it…Life is a journey.  I’m gonna rock it Goonie-Style.



Day #7 – What is Your Dream Job and Why?

If you check out my About page you’d see that I love to write.  I feel like I was born to write.  It’s been my passion since I was a small child.  In fact, the first time I was published I was only 7 or 8 years old.


I was accepted to a widely recognized journalism school at a university outside my province but at the time I had other things going on and made the decision not to go….and in all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a journalist.  And I felt like I knew how to write so I pussied out.  But I have continued to write.  But to be paid for it….that would be amazeballs.

In fact, if I were able I would love to take a year off (from the real world) and move somewhere right by the water and just write.  That has been a dream of mine since I was 18 and a friend (whom I met thru a writers’ group) did it. Bastard.  (Yes, that’s jealousy talking.)

BUT….aside from that romantic notion of writing, I would LOVE to be a part of SNL.  Saturday Night Live Rules, y’all.  Jimmy Fallon got me hooked years ago and since I think I’m pretty darn funny and witty I would love to be an integral part of that show.  A writer (obvs), a player, a funny gal, a singer, a dancer, a mover and shaker. That package is complete. (Plus, how friggin’ cool would it be to stand on stage and yell “LIVE FROM NEW YORK….IT’S SATURDAY NIGHHHHTTT!!”