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Archive for September, 2013

Day #13: Describe 5 Weaknesses You Have.

Weaknesses, eh?

1) My Nephews – I love my nephews so much.  They are absolutely adorable little blond, blue eyed sweeties.  And they know how to twist Aunt Sandy’s arm really well.  If they want something and they come to me with a little pout and say “Aunt Sandy….can I please have…..?”, Aunt Sandy will, like a sucker (most of the time), give in.  Sometimes I will just pop into their house for a hug and squeeze and a kiss and to call them little weirdos.  Because I love them that much.

2) The Sun – I know all the warnings but I still love to bask in the warmth of the sun.  Maybe it’s because I’m cold all the time.  The sun is my friend.

3) Exercise – If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I am addicted to exercise.  And even on the days I say I’m not going to work out…..I usually still work out.

4) Baby animals – It is my goal in life to hug a baby cow. (I actually just said this to Blair yesterday.)  Baby animals are so adorable.  Most of them anyway.  And I melt into a big pool of poo-poo when I see them: kittens, puppies, cows, chicks, raccoons, bears, owls, etc.  We got Abby a teddy bear hamster (Teddy) last week and even tho I am aware that it’s a glorified rat, Teddy is still so darn cute and friendly that Blair and I have been fawning over him like he is a baby cow.

teddy-bear-hamster5) Driving too fast.  Um, this is something I try not to do too often but judging by the amount of speeding tickets I’ve had in my lifetime (including 3 in the last five years), it seams that having a lead foot of sorts is a weakness of mine.  I am more careful now of where I speed but man!, sometimes I feel like the speed limit of 100 km on the highway is just not fast enough….I am very diligent these days of ensuring I don’t go past 110 (permitted) unless I’m by the airport….then I just follow suit with everyone else.  Vroom vroom.

Cheers.

PS Cole Hauser is a weakness, did I say Cole Hauser?  Because I meant to say Cole Hauser.

My other boyfriend, Cole Hauser.

My other boyfriend, Cole Hauser.

 

 


Day #12: Describe a Typical Day in Your Life.

adayinthelifelogo

Weekdays – Get up, feed and water animal.  Prepare for work.  Go to work.  Work.  Have lunch with Angie Whoreface and Kritt.  Leave work.  Work out.  (Monday = gym, Barre, Yoga / Thursday = gym, Zumba, yoga – every other day is either gym, run or home workout).  Some evenings (depends on his work schedule) I am shacked up with Blair, the other evenings I am home (quality time with animal).  Sleep.

Weekends – Get up, workout, prepare for the day.  Run errands (aka run the roads). Visit friends/family.  Head to Blair’s. Dilly-dally.  Prepare dinner and hang out.  Sleep.

This week is BIRTHDAY WEEK so there will be lots of running around and whatnot.  I am spoiled and I also like to spoil myself.  I’m not above that.

Cheers.

 


Day #11 – Describe a Few of Your Pet Peeves

Aghhhhh – this post is for tomorrow – Saturday.  (Published too soon. Dang.)

pet-peeves

1) Bad Grammar.  OBVIOUSLY, being the Grammar Queen or Grammar Nazi as my friends so lovingly refer to me as, I loathe bad grammar.  I think a lot of it nowadays is pure and simple laziness.  Take some time…learn to differentiate between your and you’re.  Come to understand the meaning of past/present/future tense(s).  I can go on and on and on.  Oh…And learn how to use “I” and “me” properly.  This is one of my biggest peeves and it makes me angry.

2) Bad Manners (or non-existent manners).  Rudeness is not acceptable in my book.  Use your manners, please.

3) Chewing with your mouth open (this includes gum).  That thing on your face is called a nose.  It is often used for breathing.  Use it.  Close your mouth to chew your food and not smack your gum and breathe thru your nose.  Thank you.

4) Public bathrooms.  People are disgusting.  I wish everyone would treat a public bathroom like their own private bathroom.  I have a teensy tiny bladder and sometimes I just gotta go when I gotta go.  And SOMETIMES I would rather pee in the woods like an animal than use a public restroom because it is so disgusting (I think Starbucks is the worst).  Clean up after yourself.  Have better aim.  Flush the toilet.  Etc. Etc. Etc.

5) People/professionals who aren’t punctual.  I show up a few minutes early before a doctor’s appointment only to have to wait for close to an hour because she/he is running behind.  Also, if I’m meeting a friend (or a certain sister-in-law *ahem* {Haha. Just kidding. Love you.}) and I’m at our destination long before she has even left the house.

6) Inconsistencies in movies (or tv shows).  Because if something is wrong or said wrong then I will spend the next 45 minutes dwelling on it and will miss vital parts of the movie.

(That’s enough of my Peeves for the day, is it not?)

Cheers!


Day #10 – Describe Your Most Embarrassing Moment

After reading last week’s Karma Just Kicked My Ass and My Worst Nightmare and Something Happened on the Way… (where I was out for a run and fell in a ditch) you should by now realized that I have a lot of embarrassing accidents.  So honestly, it’s come to the point where I don’t get embarrassed that easily.  I mean, on my very first date with Blair I slipped and fell down the stairs.   Boom!  That is my life.

I guess, for an embarrassing story I can tell you about giving my Maid of Honor speech at my best friend, Stephanie’s wedding a few years ago and got so completely choked up that I couldn’t do it.  I mean, I love this girl.  She’s my dude and we’ve been besties since we were 16 (remember my story about going to her place for the first time and falling down the stairs?) and we’ve been thru so much together and I was overwhelmed with happiness for her and sadness that I was giving away my girl to someone else – regardless of how well she lucked out with a great guy.

But yes, that was horribly embarrassing.  Apparently Blair and my dad were nudging each other saying “Oh God” and “Watch this.”  (Thanks for the support, aholes!)  Eventually, I was able to give my speech to a smaller crowd and with booze in hand.  Whatevs.  It got done.  I’m sure if you continue reading you’ll hear more stories of my mishaps, new and old.

Cheers.

 

 


One Year

One year ago early this morning I was Going to See A Man about an Eye.  And I Survived that surgery (tho I cried A LOT!).  And since it’s been one year I thought I’d give you a little update.

Waking up later in the day - still high - not feeling so cool

Waking up later in the day – still high – not feeling so cool

I was actually at the eye doc earlier this week.  The last time I’d seen him a few months ago he was concerned that my eye wasn’t up to par with where he’d hoped it would be.  There was still quite a bit of swelling inside and tho my vision has improved my sight itself was blotchy.  So, he told me at that last appointment that more than likely he’d begin injecting my eye with medication to see if that would help speed things up.  (Insert Sandy freaking out HERE.)

Home from the hospital the following day....Winston missed me.

Home from the hospital the following day….Winston missed me.

However, at this week’s appointment he decided to forego the eye-dea (see what I did there?) of sticking a needle into my eye (thank the Good Lord for that one).  In fact, he says at this point there’s not much more he can do.  My vision in my good eye is better than 20/20.  My vision with both eyes is 20/20.  My vision in my bad eye is pretty darn good – however my sight is still off and it’s still blotchy.

Chillin' like a villain with my ghetto black eye about a week or so later

Chillin’ like a villain with my ghetto black eye about a week or so later

The surgeon last year said that it could take up to 2 years for my eye to heal and improve.  The doctor I saw this week (and have been seeing since post-surgery) isn’t sure if it’s going to improve any further than where it’s at.  I’m young, he says, and we can hope for improvement but right now there’s nothing more that can be done.  Just hope for the best.

These days-ish - And I wear this sweater a lot (I like to be consistent)

These days-ish – And I wear this sweater a lot (I like to be consistent)

I guess I shouldn’t complain – my vision is better than most people’s.  Blair says that without his glasses, my sight is a lot better than his.  So for now I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and hope for the best.

Cheers

 

 

 


Day #9: What Defines You?

When I was younger I thought I was defined by my friends or by the clothes I wore or by things I did.  For a long time I thought I was defined by my weight or by my eating disorders.  And then by my education and my job.

Today I see things differently.  I define me.  The choices I make, my beliefs, my character:  the person I am at my core is who I am.

I see myself as pretty fly.  My perspectives have changed a bit but deep down I’m still the same person and carry most of the same traits and characteristics, beliefs and faith.  And I’m okay with that.

Cheers.

Y’know…this challenge has been a little more depressing and thought provoking than I’d originally thought.  Hopefully some humorous posts are around the corner.

 


Honest Joe

Years ago, after I split up with my live-in boyfriend, a friend talked me into going on a dating site.  I’m not really on board with internet dating sites and it took a lot of coercing from her but I eventually gave in and did it.  I was only online for a week or two and then shut down my account.  Way too many trolls for my liking.

I had many conversations (via the chat or inboxing) from prospective suitors including this one particular dude who I’ll refer to as “Joe.”  Joe is obviously not his real name – you will find out why soon enough.

Joe began sending me private messages that weren’t completely inappropriate…at first.  But as our minimal chatter grew I began asking him questions about himself and his work…figuring out who he was.

Soon enough Joe was sending me the inappropriate messages telling me that hr wasn’t looking for a relationship because he was currently engaged and that he wanted a fling on the side.  His messages weren’t lewd but they were still gross.  I’m kind of a prude and usually use avoidance as a good tactic when I’m uncomfortable but he didn’t get it and continued to ask me to be his booty call so I finally just came and said “You know who I am, right?  I know you.  You’re Bob’s brother. We’ve met a few times.  I was at Bob and Bertha’s wedding and I hung out with your mom at the bridal shower.”    I think right about then he choked on something.  Can open: worms everywhere.

Now this particular dude is a running candidate in our local elections and has his face plastered over signs and party vehicles everywhere.  And every time I see his slimy face smiling with his stupid ‘pick me’ caption I chuckle and think of the drama I could (but won’t) stir up with those saved messages.  Oh, the life of a politician.

Maybe he was campaigning for love.....

Maybe he was campaigning for love…..


Phone Troll

It is election time here in good ol’ Canada so of course the parties and candidates are doing their trolling.

I had an interesting/annoying phone call from the NDP last week. Horrible telemarketer.  Rude.  Kind of dumb.  Unintelligible.  (Sounded like she needed to blow her nose and like she was chewing her face.)   Here’s the thing:  if you can’t pronounce “constituency” then simply omit it from your script – don’t attempt to make up a word that sounds not even close to a bit like it to replace it.  Also, refrain from taking on a job that requires you to say the word “constituency”.

(Another FUNNY election story coming soon.)

Cheers.


Day #8 – What Are 3 Passions You Have?

#1 – See Day #7 re. My Dream Job (writing).

#2 – Fitness.  It is my goal to become CanFitPro certified.  In the meantime, I work out every damn day and attend a minimum of 4 fitness classes a week.

#3 – To finally have a Goonie adventure (although, I have had close calls in the past).  I think everyone deserves a Goonie adventure in life and my passion is endlessly seeking out that adventure.  If that means karaoke-ing it or challenging people to dance-offs or getting lost in the woods after dark while on a hike then so be it…Life is a journey.  I’m gonna rock it Goonie-Style.

goonies4Cheers!

 


Day #7 – What is Your Dream Job and Why?

If you check out my About page you’d see that I love to write.  I feel like I was born to write.  It’s been my passion since I was a small child.  In fact, the first time I was published I was only 7 or 8 years old.

writer

I was accepted to a widely recognized journalism school at a university outside my province but at the time I had other things going on and made the decision not to go….and in all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a journalist.  And I felt like I knew how to write so I pussied out.  But I have continued to write.  But to be paid for it….that would be amazeballs.

In fact, if I were able I would love to take a year off (from the real world) and move somewhere right by the water and just write.  That has been a dream of mine since I was 18 and a friend (whom I met thru a writers’ group) did it. Bastard.  (Yes, that’s jealousy talking.)

BUT….aside from that romantic notion of writing, I would LOVE to be a part of SNL.  Saturday Night Live Rules, y’all.  Jimmy Fallon got me hooked years ago and since I think I’m pretty darn funny and witty I would love to be an integral part of that show.  A writer (obvs), a player, a funny gal, a singer, a dancer, a mover and shaker. That package is complete. (Plus, how friggin’ cool would it be to stand on stage and yell “LIVE FROM NEW YORK….IT’S SATURDAY NIGHHHHTTT!!”

snl


Day #6 – What is the Hardest Thing You’ve Experienced?

The hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, without a doubt, was the death of my grandmother.  She passed from cancer when she was just 60 years old.  She was a young 60 – a very hip woman who, not too long before that rode a moped.  She was cool.

We were very closed and I loved her dearly.  I still, to this day, cannot think or talk about her without tearing up.

I remember everything about her death and I wish I could have more time with her.   I gather strength from knowing I will see her again one day.

broken-heart

Cheers.


Day #5 – What are the Five Things that Make Me Happiest Right Now?

1) I got so much accomplished today.  I’ve been wanting to clean my car (inside and out) for a while now and things just kept coming up.  So I got at ‘er this morning and it’s finito.  I also spent a lot of time cleaning my house today.  Yay!!!

2) The night is still young.  I’m gonna sit back and have a glass of wine – which should be interesting since I haven’t had a thing to eat in 8 hours (I was busy – see #1), work on my fall decorating, make some energy bars and likely grab some real dinner.

3) I got to see many people I love this weekend: Blair, my nephews, my brother (DON’T tell him I said I love him), my sister in law, my parents, Amy Whoreface (and her mini me), some other family members/friends….and Winston!  🙂

4) Blair and I have been invited – AND ARE ACTUALLY GOING – to a Halloween party.  I’m super excited.  We get invited to things like this all the time but it’s rare that we get to go….usually work or life comes up.  So, in addition, I get to come up with great Halloween costumes (I’m also open to suggestions).

5) The weather.  This morning was hot and humid, even early.  When I left for the gym at 9am it was already kind of icky but as the day went on it got breezy and the sky has slowly darkened and right now it’s beautiful and it feels like I should be sitting in New Orleans preparing for some eerie Southern storm.

Cheers.


Day 4: List 5 Things You would Tell Your 16 Year-Old Self if You Could

A few years ago I wrote 18 Again – things I would tell my 18 year-old self if I could go back.  I think that everything I wrote to my 18 year-old self would definitely apply to my 16 year-old self.

I may be taking a short-cut today but it’s a warm, sunny, pre-fall day and I’m going to enjoy it dammit.

Happy Saturday Peeps.

Cheers!


Day #3 – What is the Greatest Amount of Physical Pain You Have Ever Endured?

What is the greatest amount of physical pain I have ever endured?

Yikes…what a question.  I mean, after reading my earlier post from today I’m sure you can tell by now that I’m pretty clumsy and I get hurt a lot.  So, let me narrow it down to probably the top 3:

#3 – When I was in the 6th grade I fell off the monkey bars and crushed my left arm.  Technically the bones weren’t crushed but the bones were broken in such a fashion that one set slid under the other set so that my arm,when looking at it was flat and partially concave. It was pretty gross.   Because I’d just eaten lunch (half a hot dog) the doctor wasn’t permitted to do surgery right away so I had to lay in the hospital bed for about 6 hours before I was finally wheeled down to surgery.  Being 12 years old, this was a pretty difficult task.  On top of this, because everyone was focused on my arm no one bothered to check for other injuries (aside from head injury, of course) and it wasn’t til several days later and once home from the hospital that I was taken back to the doctor and determined to have a bunch of broken ribs too.  See…..clutzy, told, ya.

#2 – When I was in high school I cut my finger on one of those ever-sharp type knives – you know, the ones that sharpen every time you put it back in its holder.  I tripped on a mat in our kitchen and put my hands on the counter to brace myself – not thinking “hey shit, there’s a knife in my hand” – and slid the knife over the other hand.  I cut my thumb and my pointer finger almost off.  Literally.  Bloooooood everywhere.  I cut thru the vein and partially into the bone and every time my heart beat blood spurted up like a beautiful red fountain.  *barf*

#3 – Number 3 is a tie:

a) The night before my senior prom I fell up the stairs at my school while decorating and broke my ankle.  However, I did not think I broke my ankle. I thought it was a bad sprain and so I went to a party.  While at the party my foot turned black and I was hobbling around on my knees because I was in so much pain.  One of the party-goes was a paramedic and he “examined” me.  “Oh hon, your foot is broken.”  In disbelief that I broke my ankle the night before the prom I stayed at the party until the wee hours of the morning.  When I woke early in the morning to go back to the school to finish decorating I couldn’t believe the agony I was in.  I put my foot down to try and take a step but LITERALLY passed out from the excruciating pain, bouncing my face off the corner of a dresser, resulting in me going to my prom with a broken ankle, but also a huge black and cut eye.

b) In college, while on in the middle of a job interview for an internship (at a law firm, no less) the interviewer asked if I’d like a tour of the office.  I stood up, took one step and broke my other foot.  It made a huge crunch (that makes me want to throw up on my desk thinking about it) and the interviewers jaw dropped to the floor.  The pain was blinding.  I initially thought I’d broken the ankle, but to make a long story short, I severed (severed) the ligaments in my ankle but broke my foot at the top of it where the foot meets the leg:

Kinda just above where this dude's thumb is and in the center....

Kinda just above where this dude’s thumb is and in the center….

I broke the bone and  the cartilage completely off.  But, because we thought the ankle was broken the doctors weren’t smart enough on their own to figure out to look for the break somewhere else.  I knew it was broken…I heard it break.  So….14 weeks later, after 3 sets of xrays, a cat scan and a bone scan someone FINALLY found the break.  But, because it wasn’t found at the time I had to spend all that time with my foot pretty much just dangling around –  turning black because the ligament had been severed and was bleeding internally and all the blood was settling on the bottom of my foot and hardening – it was pretty gross.  My physiotherapist at first refused to work on me because she was afraid I was developing gangrene (which I probably would have).  And the first night of this whole mess was the worst pain I’ve ever been in.  I cried all night long because it was excruciating and there was nothing I could do.  My poor foot.   It’s the reason why now when I roll my cankle it looks like this:

....and this one ain't even broken.

….and this one ain’t even broken.

So….there you have it…the greatest amount of pain I’ve ever been in would be the night following the day of that break.  Awful, awful night.

Cheers!

 

 


Karma Just Kicked My Ass

karma

So the other day I posted about laughing at someone else’s misfortune.  Well, even tho it was years ago (I’m sure Karma got me then), I’m thinking that since I shared that laugh with you recently, the karma bug has come back around.

Today while out on my lunch break with Angie Whoreface, we were strolling thru Town and suddenly……I fell.  Mid-day, downtown, lots of traffic and people walking.  Plus…buildings have windows.

I’m not 100% sure what happened but as I was falling I became aware that my dress might fly up exposing my ass to the world whilst I lay on the ground so I grabbed both sides quickly to hold it down and I proceeded to just fall onto my knees and then forward onto my hands.  Boom.

Angie came to my rescue quickly asking me if I was okay (I was laughing hysterically) and offering me her hand.  Keeping my head down, I asked her “are people staring??”   While still on the ground, and traffic flowing nicely, a man in a truck pulled up and yelled out asking me if I was okay.  I replied yes…to which he shouted “I got it on video….” and sped away.  (I’m assuming he was joking.)

Angie helped me up and I continued to hold on to her hand for quite a few steps as we continued on to our destination, laughing all the way.

When I got back to the office I received a text from Blair’s sister-in-law saying “I think I just saw you fall. Are you okay?”  After a mild chit chat she said ” If I do say so you were very graceful in your fall.”  Ah, success.  *face palm*

facepalm-wallpaper


Day #2: Your Biggest Fear About Growing Old

Old

Day 2 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge is resonating with me, as my birthday is right around the corner.

My Biggest Fear About Growing Old is the possibility that I may never get everything I want out of life.  Don’t get me wrong, my life is grand and I’m pretty excited about it but there are certain milestones I’d like to pass.  There are decisions to be made and things to think about.  Right now I’m still living the good life but sometimes I feel like time is running out to have it all.

Cheers.

 


A Foot-in-Mouth Moment

Many years ago I had a friend approach me about a job. She was a manager of a local drug store and asked me if I would come work for her part-time for the Christmas season in the cosmetic department. I was already working full-time as a supervisor for another company and my shifts were normally 5am-2pm and really didn’t want to take on another job. But she begged me and said I was the only person she knew who used and knew how to apply makeup so I told her I would do it if they could schedule around my already existing schedule. No problem.

So, I was working 7 days a week – Monday – Friday I was working my regular full time shifts; then some evenings I would work from late afternoon (basically giving me enough time to get home, shower and change clothes) til store close at 9 – getting me out of the store between 9:30/10pm – and then I’d have weekend shifts at the drug store. I was tired and cranky. But I enjoyed the job for the most part.

One Friday night I left work extremely cranky. I was supposed to go to a Christmas party but was unable because of my shift and because of a wee snow storm (turns out no one made it to the party anyway so my crankiness was all for naught – yes, I just said “naught”). I had worked extra long that day and when I left work at 10pm I was starving so I decided to pull into Subway to grab a sandwich to take home. The snow was coming down but the storm had let up for the most part. As I was walking toward the restaurant door a young guy came out and slipped in the snow going ass-over-tea-kettle.
slip-fall-ice

Me, being kind of a jerk and also being surprised at what had just happened, burst out laughing (as I am laughing now as I type this). It was the funniest thing. I felt bad but at the same time it was freakin’ hilarious. Anyway, he got back up, held the door for me as I entered the restaurant.

I got my sub and went back to my car. As I was getting ready to back out of my spot I saw the guy jump out of his car and come running toward me. Holy F..K!!! I thought. I’m gonna get my ass kicked.

Dude came right up to my car and started knocking on my window. I was terrified. I didn’t know what would happen next: if he was going to stab me in the eye or smash my window. My door was locked but I rolled down my window a tiny bit so he could talk (I was ready for a verbal ass-whooping). He said “I’m sorry, I just think you are so beautiful and I waited for you to come back out so I could come over and ask you out.” WTF? Whaaaat??
say-what-nc

This dude was so sweet (and cute). Even tho I’d laughed at him after he face plowed into the snow he totally pulled a Lloyd Dobler.
say-anything

Although he nearly made me shit my pants from thinking some psycho was going to tear me a new one, he actually turned my night around.

Cheers!


Inspiration, Please

I’ve had some writer’s block-of-sorts lately. I can’t think of anything good to write about. Truth be told, I’m tired. All the time. I go to work, go to the gym and to my 4 classes each week and by the time I’m finished I’m zonked. I’ve been a lazy couch potato for a little while now (tho, my laziness always follows my workouts so I’m really not that lazy).

I have been so tired the last few months that I decided to go to the doctor and see if we could figure out what’s going on. Turns out that my already low thyroid, which has been regulated by medication for several years, is lower than usual. And my white blood cell count is down. Not really sure what’s up with that. For the time being my thyroid medication has been increased and I have more blood work to come next month to see about the count.

In the meantime I’m gonna look to you for some inspiration so that I can get back into the swing of things. PLEASE send me ideas/suggestions for posts. I love getting them and you never know…maybe one of them will start a ball rolling for several more great ideas. Please be good readers and help a girl out.

In the meantime….Birthday Week is fast approaching and, although I’m not overly impressed with my birthday age this year, I am always excited for Birthday Week. You’re all invited!

Cheers.


Lame End of Summer Blog Challenge – Day #1

So, after I posted earlier that I was looking for some inspiration (which I still am), my girl Tanya commented on how we should participate in another blog challenge (as we participated in one a few years ago).  I thought it was a great idea!   So we decided on the cool name (above) and found a good Challenge to follow.

Day 1: List 10 Random Facts about Yourself

1 – I believe in love at first sight

2 – My favorite color is yellow

3 – I am eating a peach
4 – I just took my Steve Madden heels off and my feet STINK!!
5 – Right now there are clothes hanging all around my house b/c I’m lazy and there isn’t enough room in my closets
6 – My goal for this week is to hang up all my clothes
7 – I have a mini crush on that skinny kid from Mortal Instruments
This kid - Jamie Campbell Bower

This kid – Jamie Campbell Bower

8 – I always wish on falling stars
9 – Someone yelled hi to me today on my lunch and I tripped on the curb nothing
10 – I get A LOT of junk mail for penile growth and enlargement
Alreighty…so there ya go.  First day complete.  Anyone else up for the Challenge?  Krystal? Andy? Thoughtsy? Dara? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?  If you’re up for it and want the list, message me and I will send it off.
Cheers.

Biiiiitch – That’s MY Side of the Bed!!

You know my favorite time of the week? When Blair is working backshifts and I don’t have to sleep with him. Not that I don’t love sharing my nighttime snuggles with him. It’s the fact that he won’t SHARE the bed that has me going bat-shit-crazy!

my-side

When sleeping alone I like to be right in the center of the bed. Dead centre. That way I have lots of room on either side of me and if a certain big fat white cat decides I’m worthy enough of his company there’s plenty of room for him too*.

{*Side note: Big Fat White Cat has, of late, decided that my pillow is a perfect place for him to rest his big butt. Wonderful. Thank you, Winston, for allowing me to put my face on a pillow that you’ve rubbed your ass on. Thank you.}

However, on the nights that I’m shacked up with my other half I am happy to oblige him one side of the bed. So, in a perfect world he’d have one half and I’d have one half with a nice imaginary line drawn down the center which he would only be permitted to cross should he want to wrap his arms around me. But this is not a perfect world and my *ahem* sweetie believes that 3/4ths of the bed are equal enough to my 1/4. Mother of F…k!!!!

Not only does he believe he’s only taking up a tiny bit of room he also thinks he has to lie diagonal in the bed.

*this is NOT my boyfriend*  Found this on the interwebs

*this is NOT my boyfriend*
Found this on the interwebs

When I’m having sleepovers with him I’m usually angry and mouthy because I’m squished up in this tiny little space without the ability to move any part of my body. I always complain tell him that he’s in the center of the bed or that I have no room but he always rebuttles that he has no room. Grrr! Sometimes I try to snap the light on really quick but the effer is sneaky and rolls slightly so that I can’t tell that he has more room. But I know his game.

In my next life I’m having bunk beds!

Cheers!