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Biiiiitch – That’s MY Side of the Bed!!

You know my favorite time of the week? When Blair is working backshifts and I don’t have to sleep with him. Not that I don’t love sharing my nighttime snuggles with him. It’s the fact that he won’t SHARE the bed that has me going bat-shit-crazy!

my-side

When sleeping alone I like to be right in the center of the bed. Dead centre. That way I have lots of room on either side of me and if a certain big fat white cat decides I’m worthy enough of his company there’s plenty of room for him too*.

{*Side note: Big Fat White Cat has, of late, decided that my pillow is a perfect place for him to rest his big butt. Wonderful. Thank you, Winston, for allowing me to put my face on a pillow that you’ve rubbed your ass on. Thank you.}

However, on the nights that I’m shacked up with my other half I am happy to oblige him one side of the bed. So, in a perfect world he’d have one half and I’d have one half with a nice imaginary line drawn down the center which he would only be permitted to cross should he want to wrap his arms around me. But this is not a perfect world and my *ahem* sweetie believes that 3/4ths of the bed are equal enough to my 1/4. Mother of F…k!!!!

Not only does he believe he’s only taking up a tiny bit of room he also thinks he has to lie diagonal in the bed.

*this is NOT my boyfriend*  Found this on the interwebs

*this is NOT my boyfriend*
Found this on the interwebs

When I’m having sleepovers with him I’m usually angry and mouthy because I’m squished up in this tiny little space without the ability to move any part of my body. I always complain tell him that he’s in the center of the bed or that I have no room but he always rebuttles that he has no room. Grrr! Sometimes I try to snap the light on really quick but the effer is sneaky and rolls slightly so that I can’t tell that he has more room. But I know his game.

In my next life I’m having bunk beds!

Cheers!

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