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Archive for October, 2013

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Happy Halloween 2013

It’s October 31st.  Hooray!  I.Love.Halloween.

Almost two months ago Blair and I were invited to a Halloween party/dance for this past weekend.  Blair and I have never done anything like that together and I have always wanted to do a couple’s costume. And since my cousin’s band was playing at this shindig I begged talked Blair into attending.  I had originally wanted to go as Bonnie and Clyde but that idea is a bit overdone (it’s all your fault, Brenda and Dylan!!) so I had to come up with exciting original costumes.  Original would be key.  I thought about us going as Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth – but man, those two crazy kids are in a whole other realm and Sandy just didn’t have time to find a sweet mullet wig or inflatable boobs.


So I continued on with searching my brain and finally came up with a great costume.  I kept it completely secret – only telling my mom (and making her SWEAR to not tell anyone) because I needed her help with a few things.  I could not wait for party night.  AND…….


First place.


Can you guess what we are?


We’re Silent Film Stars.


Original….and fun.  And cheap.  Blair paid $2 for that hat (which, by the way, I had to split in the back and add a piece in because his damn head is so big).  The pants and white shirt he borrowed from my dad, the jacket, tie and shoes are his.  He had a few days’ worth of stubble – which he then shaved down and I colored it in black (along with his eyebrows) to resemble Charlie Chaplin.  I also doused our faces and necks with white makeup and did our cheeks with some black makeup for definition (because, y’know, black and white film….).  My dress I bought second hand for $5.  The stole thingy with the antique brooch is my mom’s.  She made my headpiece and matching flower for my dress (which looks pretty sad in the photo).  I bought the gloves at the Dollar store and my rings are vintage that my cousin gifted me for my birthday a few years ago.  My purse is vintage.  It was my grandmother’s and is hand-beaded and from the 40’s I believe.  The rest of the jewelry (pearls and earrings are mine).  I was going to buy chalkboards at the Dollar store but I, instead, downloaded a template and glued one on each side of a piece of cardboard and wrote on them with a white colored pencil.

The first photo I took to send to my mom while Blair was dragging ass in getting ready.

The first photo I took to send to my mom while Blair was dragging ass in getting ready.

Although Blair and I both had headaches, we had a great time.  The bands were great and I’m very impressed with my cousin Scott (from Eight Nickels) who rocked the night (although his costume freaked me out); and my cousin-in-law (from my last post about the Bar Nazis) is a hoot and she’s decided we should be new BFFs.  I am so down with that.  Especially if she’s the type of gal who can smuggle pie and veggie trays into the movies.

And now it’s Halloween, which means it’s a whole other night to dress up.  And since I’m on my own tonight I’m hoping to dress up as something scarrryyyy.  I have been planning to costume myself as La Llarona (the Weeping Woman).

La Llarona (Courtesy of Grimm on NBC)

La Llarona
(Courtesy of Grimm on NBC)

She is a scarily bad mamma-jamma and I really want to scare the shizz outta people.  (Note: Read La Llarona’s story here.)  But we’ll see what happens.  More than likely, I’ll end up seeing my nephews’ costumes, going to the gym and then vegging on my couch watching Hocus Pocus.

Have a safe and spooky Halloween.






Bar Nazis

This is the conversation I’m currently having with my cousin-in-law whilst (yes, I said ‘whilst’) discussing tomorrow eve’s Halloween party we’re attending – and which I plan on pulling a Charlie Sheen (WINNING!) for best costumes:


Sandy:  What’s the bar situation like?  Can I smuggle my wine in?

C-I-L:  Probably. There is a bar there, but they aren’t Bar Nazis! If I can smuggle a pecan pie into the movies, you can smuggle your wine into the dance… as long as you have somewhere to hide it, and not just have it out on the table! Hahaha
Sandy:  WTF?  Pecan pie into the movies????????

C-I-L:  My sisters and I went to see Magic Mike and we took a pecan pie and I think a Veggie tray and Guacamole and chips… Hahahahhaah It was hilarious!

This was by far my best conversation today.


When I was really little, like, before school age, I would sometimes crawl into bed with my mom after my dad went to work in the early mornings.  My parents’ room was at the end of the hall….down the hall was my room and then the hall opened into the living room and off to the kitchen.  So, from my parents’ bed, I could look down straight down the hall and into the living room.

One morning I crawled in next to my mom and just before drifting back to sleepyland (as opposed to SandyLand) I was staring down the hall and I SWEAR that there was a monster coming down toward the bedroom.  This thing was tall and covered in hair – it looked like a cross between Big Foot and a Wookie.

big foot

I remember watching it and as it made the corner in front of the bedroom (turning toward my brother’s room and the bathroom) it turned its head and looked at me.

You may think I am cray-cray but I swear on my life that I saw that thing.  To this day I remember everything about those few moments.  We moved out of that house when I was 12 (and I doubt it was haunted as it was a new house when my parents moved in) but I remember the exact set up and seeing that damn thing coming down the hallway.  I don’t think I ever told my mother – or anyone else for that matter – but I verily believe that there was some weird Wookie in my house.

Well hello first husband, Han Solo...you and your Wookie would be more than welcome in my home.

Well hello first husband, Han Solo…you and your Wookie would be more than welcome in my home.



When I was in middle school I went out trick-or-treating with my friend Kim, her dad and brother and another dad and his kids.  It was the very first time I had gone out for Halloween without my mom or dad and without my brother.  But, I was excited to be going out with my friend and I think she was happy to have another girl in their group of mostly boys.  So, it was really a win-win for both of us.  Kim’s dad and his friend stood at the end of each driveway as we kids made our way to and from each candy-giving door.

I was a little nervous because I was trick-or-treating in a different neighborhood.  We were having a great time and everything was going great when we got to this one house.  It was brightly lit and decorated festively for Halloween, including the pumpkin man sitting in an old lawn chair on the walkway to the door.  The pumpkin man was a little haggard looking and slumped over to one side in the chair but it was a nice touch.

After collecting my loot from the front door I started my way back to the dads – down the little brick walkway toward the driveway.  I noticed that Kim’s dad was trying to hold back laughter.  Suddenly, I felt very uneasy.  I felt as if someone was following me so I started to run.  I ran onto the driveway and as I looked back the pumpkin man from the chair beside the door was following me.

No...this isn't scary at all...

No…this isn’t scary at all…












I screamed, swung my loot bag at him and ran to the dads for safety…who, by now, were doubled over with laughter.  Turns out, one of the high school boys thought it’d be fun to put a pumpkin on his head and sit there all night scaring kids.  Jackass!!

In my old age I realize that that was good clean fun.  However, I don’t know if I’m ready to laugh at it yet.  That was my last year trick-or-treating.





Day #27: Post Three Photos of Yourself that You Like

#1 – I love this photo of me and my friend Jesse.  It’s one of my favorite photos.  Ever.  It was taken a few years ago at one of our infamous Wicker parties.  Whoever took the pic caught us in a moment of honest laughter.  I still have no idea what was so funny but the angle of the photo caught the length of my foot-long nose beautifully.

Me and Jesse Whoreface

Me and Jesse Whoreface









#2 – This was taken 2 years ago at my BFF Stephanie’s wedding.  We have a friendship that has lasted many years.  I had not planned on kissing her on the cheek.  Photo turned out great.   I love this girl.

Steph and me

Steph and me













#3 – This photo is great because I was living out a fantasy of (FINALLY) getting to see the New Kids on the Block in concert.  That’s right, I said New Kids on the Block.  My friends and I drove 16 hours straight from Nova Scotia to Montreal to see this concert.  We had tshirts made up and ended up being interviewed to discuss our trek to Montreal.  It was such a fun road trip AND my ass looks pretty spectacular in those jeans.

Angie Whoreface, Melissa, ME, Jaime (aka Fellow Asshole)

Angie Whoreface, Melissa, ME, Jaime (aka Fellow Asshole)











A Nightmare in SandyLand

The first time I spent the night at my high school BFF’s place, I had just turned 16.  I was already very nervous and a little shy.  Mostly because I had a little crush on one of her brothers.  I was ecstatic to be there but also scared to death.  My fear grew even stronger when I walked into Kim’s room for the first time and saw she shared her room with a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Freddy Krueger.  WTF??  Why would a 14 year old girl have anything of  Freddy Krueger in her room?  (Turns out it was a hand-me-down from one of her three brothers.)

If you recall from one of last October’s posts, I really am not a fan of horror movies.  Scary movies I can handle (well….at least semi-scary), horror movies I cannot.  And it did not bode well for me to be alone in the dark with Freddy Effing Krueger.

Nowadays he sort of just looks like a jackass

Nowadays he sort of just looks like a jackass

I dreaded going to sleep that night.  I was happy that Kim and her brothers and I stayed up later to shoot the shit and allow me to get super sleepy.  But when it came time to hit the hay, I couldn’t do it.  I laid there all night having a stare-down with cardboard Freddy.  I didn’t dare avert my eyes…that sucker is sneaky.  So I was awake….ALL.NIGHT.LONG.

When Kim’s mom strolled down the hall singing “Good mooorniing” at 6:30 the next a.m. I was relieved that someone else in the house was finally awake.   Kim laughed at me when I told her that I hadn’t slept and why and when I went home later that day I had a nice long peaceful nap.

After that day, as our friendship grew into solidified BFFdom, Freddy got moved to the basement.  Kind of endearing, don’tcha think?


Day #26: What is Your Favorite Part of Your Body and Why?

My favorite body part, I guess, has always been my eyes.  I know – I’m lame.  That’s not new news.

I’ve always been insecure about the way I look and my body and having been a little overweight for a good portion of my life, I have not been able to let go of that insecurity.  But, my eyes have always been the exception to my insecurities.  I’ve always received tons of compliments on them….even as a wee one.   They’re quite blue – bluer than most – bluer than anyone else in my family, and with dark hair it seems they stand out more (although in this photo I was blonde…and chunky…and in need of my eyebrows being done, yeesh! – hence the cropping).

Aside from me sucking up the love for my eyes, they are also extraordinary peepers…if my mom ever dropped a sewing needle, I was the one she called to find it.  I have, even pre and post eye surgery, my vision has remained perfect.  I am quite fond of my baby blues.

(For a funny story semi-related to this click here.)



Two Weeks of Halloween

Last year I re-discovered how much I love Halloween and posted several Halloweeny topics thru the month of October.  I decided I’m going to post several times again on the topic – stories of my past Halloweens or little things just a little scary or creepy (or funny – because I’m always tryin’ to be funny).

So, here goes….the first of the few.


Years ago I was out for an evening run in late October.  It was mid-evening and dark and the subdivision I was running in has no street lights (for aesthetic reasons, apparently).  I was running up a small hill toward the adjacent street and could see this red-orangey glow in the middle of the dark.  I wasn’t sure what it could be.  As I got closer I realized that the glow was coming from inside a truck.  As I neared the truck I became a little nervous – unsure of what was causing it; it looked like the light from some satanic ritual.  I could now see 2 people inside the truck.  I reached the street and as I ran past the truck the passenger turned his head toward me to reveal this:

What the hell?  The dude was wearing a very scary Halloween mask and the two guys had some glowing object in between them.  I’m not sure what those two fools were doing – maybe smoking a joint (probably sacrificing a small animal!) who knows? – but my pace quickened and I got my butt home faster than on any other run.


Day #25: If You Could Have Dinner with Anyone in History, Who Would it be and What Would You Eat?

I’d take the opportunity to sit down and have a pow-wow with Jesus – the man, Himself.  We’d eat whatever the heck he wanted.  And we’d have wine.   Lots of wine.


Also, I’d invite Drew Barrymore to join us.  Just because she rocks.