Day #14: Describe 5 Strengths You Have.
1) I remember everything. Celebrity birthdays and trivia, that story you told in 9th grade, what I got for my birthday when I was 8, the shoes I wore to the junior prom. I am a vessel of useless information and I will use it to my advantage.
2) My humor and quick wit. I learned to be funny a long time ago. I didn’t realize how far it would get me in life. And my quick wit definitely comes in handy at the best of times. For example: a few years ago I ran to a doctor’s appointment on my lunch break. On my way back to work I stopped into Tim Horton’s to grab some food. My former co-worker/roomie Steve was there fixing something.. He and I have always had a great bantering relationship. This particular day he commented as to why I wasn’t at work. I said that I was on my way back to the office but I’d just came from a doctor’s appointment. He snarkily asked “Why? What ‘s wrong with you?” I replied “I dunno man, whatever you gave me won’t clear up.” Funny. Gross. WITTY.
3) I can walk in high heels. Daily I see women walking – or attempting to walk – in high heels and they don’t have a grasp on it. They don’t know how to walk in heels or the shoes don’t fit them right or something. They look so stupid. And I want to tell them they look so stupid. Of course I refrain. I have been wearing heels since I was 18. I’ve got it down to a knack. Cartwheel in heels? Sure, why not.
4) I can talk myself out of pretty much anything. And in turn, turn things around so you feel like an asshole. It’s a gift really. It doesn’t always work but damn, 9 times out of 10 is a pretty good record. I’m also great at bartering. I’m like Theo Huxtable in Cliff’s birthday episode. You want it? I can get it.
5) I am a hoarder. Of sorts. I hold onto everything. Eventually it will be useful again. Clothes come back in style, Grade 12 English papers can be sold, Those empty wine bottles can be glittered and used as decorations. I can find a use for it. I swear.