Know what I kinda miss? Dating. Don’t get me wrong, I am all warm and cozy in my relationship and all but there’s an aspect about dating that I really miss. I think it’s the part about getting to know people. And seeing what kind of ahole they really are.
For instance – I went on a date with a guy the year my ex and I split up. Ex hated this dude (let’s pretend his name is Mark) and I think part of me wanted to say yes to him just for spite. Mark and I are friends now but he’s such a dork that I knew from the absolutely beginning that the date would go nowhere.
Mark took me to a Christmas party at his friend’s home. I knew no one there, but fortunately I am a keener and make friends quickly and am easy to engage so the evening went pretty well. Until Mark decided it would be a brilliant idea to don a dog collar. Yes. That’s what I said…a dog collar. Not just any dog collar but one of those collars that send an electric shock should the dog wearing it do what it’s born to do and bark (these collars should be banned. If you don’t want a dog that barks then get a fish!). Mark was attempting to impress me and show off for his friends – neither of these worked! – so he fastens on the dog collar and, yep, you guessed it, barked. He screamed in agony as the shock was delivered to his throat.
What a dumbass. Are you stupid???
It wasn’t long after this incident that I phoned a friend and asked her to please pick me up. Mark begged me not to leave but I saw where this night was heading and I really preferred not to be a part of it. And that was the only time Mark and I ever went out.
When I first started college I was set up on a blind date by my aunt. I was visiting her in another province and while there she set me up with her French teacher, Andy. I have to give props….this dude is a great guy – smart, funny, courteous, gentlemanly. But within a half hour of our date beginning he got a case of the toots and continued to toot and make toot jokes. Once again I used this face:
Andy and I are still friends and we have hung out a few times since that date but I made it clear it was strictly platonic. I mean, if the dude is making toot jokes on the first date can you imagine what would happen on the second????
You know…the more that I think of it, the more I sort of don’t miss dating.
For more wonderful stories of my Bad First Date experiences click HERE. (And I apologize for the messiness of the text of that post and for the naughty language. I wrote that long before my blog was public and only made its way to close friends.)