V – Valley
I live in the Annapolis VALLEY and this weekend is the 87th Annual Apple Blossom Festival. Which means, there are fireworks and a parade, and a fair, and tons of bands and dances and music and food and drink. And lots of people. Lots and lots of people. It’s basically a homecoming for us. I’m excited.
U – Unique
In a world full of sheep, be unique.
It’s okay to not go with the flow. It’s okay to shine and to sparkle. Smile. Stand out. It’s okay to go against the norm. And with a little glisten and glitter in your eyes.
S – Sparkles
One of my colleagues refers to me as “Sparkles”. I have a sparkly personality, I’m told. Although, I do try my darnedest to keep things light and sparkly and fun. Although, it seems this last month or so some of my sparkle has faded. But, it’s coming back.
Finding a decent person or friend can often be rare. So when you find that person – a good-spirited, kind, patient, and understanding human, hang onto him or her. Those people, it seems in this day and age, are a rarity. Unique little gems.
Q – Quiet
Sometimes life gets to too loud. Literally and metophorically.
I don’t like noise. I have sensitive ears and I hate it when it’s loud….literally…mentally…emotionally. I like quiet. And sometimes, a little bit of quiet and peace can make you feel rejuvenated. Better. Getting away from it all.
P – Peace (and Patient and Passionate and Pleasant)
I look forward to the day I can have peace – of mind and in my soul and in my heart. Reduce the chaos and live peacefully.
I appreciate the people who are patient and pleasant and I try to live as much the same way as possible. I live as passionately about things that I can. I want to provide peace and patients and pleasantries to those around me.
P – Promises
People make promises. People break promises. It happens. But sometimes, the promises that are made and that are then broken can be devastating.
Why do that? Don’t just lie. Don’t make promises you know you’re not going to keep. Just be truthful to the person you’re promising to. Don’t a coward.
Broken promises hurt. Continued promises give us hope but still hurt.
O – Oasis
For years, I have dreamed about going to Greece and travelling the country-side. Greece has been my oasis destination.
Can you blame me?
N – Nuisance
I try not to be a nuisance. I want to be helpful and kind. I don’t want to be the type of person who seems more like a chore than anything else. There are those I know who are exactly that. And I wonder….am I that way too?
M – Mark(ed)
You came into my life and left your mark. Like a time-stamp. I cannot imagine life now without you in it. You have made me smile and cry. You have given me hope and made me feel defeated. Your mark has imprinted on me.
L – Lipstick
It’s funny how a little swipe of lipstick can sort of change my entire mood.
I never leave the house without it. In fact, I am almost always wearing a shade. It makes me feel a little prettier, a little happier. A little brighter.
K – Kiss
Sometimes a kiss is all it takes for us to heal. Whether it’s a kiss from a child, a pet, or if it’s the perfect kiss from your significant other (or, just, another). The very act of kissing can change the way our soul feels.
J – Journal
I used to journal consistently. For years and years I would write every single thing I felt, thought, breathed. About 10 years or so ago I stopped. I would maybe write here and there, but I had no real reasoning for it. So, I just stopped.
But I loved my journaling and I loved my writing. I sometimes will go back and read some of the things I’d written. A lot of my writing came from pain. Sadness. Depression. It almost seems like my writing is better when it comes from that dark hole in my heart and head.
I have brought journals to my friends too. Many times. In fact, one of my best friends was having PTSD issues and anxiety this past year after being in a car accident and I bought her the most gorgeous journal. Just so that she could get out the naggy little irritants eating away at her
And recently, as in just a few weeks ago, I put together a stress kit for another friend and included a journal. I don’t know if he’ll use it (do guys do much journaling??), but at least it’s there for him. Even if he uses it once, I feel like it would be a triumph.
So, there you go. J is for journal.
I – Imprisoned
Lately I feel imprisoned – by my thoughts, by my heart, by the voices in my head, and the voices surrounding me. I am finding it difficult to breathe and to think.
H – Hesitant
I was hesitant to write today. I couldn’t decide what my choice for the letter H would be. Should I choose honesty or heartache or heartbreak or happy or what?
I went with hesitant because I am hesitant in going forward. And I am all of those things as well.
G – Gracious (and Grateful) and Gym
F- Fester (and Friends)
1. First of all, I have to say I have the most incredible group of friends. They are seriously so great. They have stuck by me and kept me busy and won’t give me any (or much) alone time lately. And for that, I am so thankful.
2. When Winston died in October I was shattered. A great big chunk of my soul died with him and I vowed to not get another pet. Unless it can be guaranteed to live forever, I didn’t want another animal. But for the last 6 or so months, I’ve felt like I’ve had this gaping hole in my heart because I miss him so much. I wavered about the idea of adopting another animal, but when I met her, I knew she was the one. Her big blue eyes looked back at me with adoration and I swooned. I have welcomed her into my home and my heart with open arms, and we are so in love.
I initially thought that a new kitten would be a boy, like Winston, and so I decided to call him Uncle Fester. But, since this little lady is a lady, the Fester has stuck, to the dismay of many others, but she gets Fessie and Kitty often. The Fester is sticking.
E – Excited
It’s a new day. It’s sunny and warm and gorgeous, and I’m excited to get out today and do so much.
Deep breaths and one step at a time.
Death changes us. Sometimes it is not been for the better.
There are times when, after the death of a loved one, we grow when we’re mourning. Through our struggles and our sadness, we become better people.
Then there are times that we find it hard to breathe in moments. Sadness takes over and encumbers what seems like every ounce of our being. We can become people we’re not because we’re hidden in a depression so deep, we often don’t even realize it.
With time, it heals and we are able to dig our way out. And from those depths, we can also see things that we weren’t able to see before. And there is a new horizon.
C – Calm (also, Crying)
Today I’m feeling a little better. I’m much calmer. My anxiety has subsided some and I haven’t been crying (yet). I have been crying so much lately. I haven’t been able to catch my breath. My heart rate has been skyrocketing from anxiety. I suppose those are all the things we experience when we are processing a difficult time. There are only a few things or people that can calm my soul. I’m hanging onto them – like they’re my life raft for survival.
But today I am calm.
B – Broken
These days I’m feeling a little broken. Broken-hearted, broken soul, broken life. This is not normally me, but it’s a factor today; and yesterday, and the day before. It’s reactive. I will get thru it. I might get over it. But right now, I feel broken.
I’m a little late. But I’ve decided to give this A to Z Challenge thing a-go. I feel like this year I’ve lost my way a bit and certainly feel like I’ve lost any desire to write (even having difficulty finding things to write about).
So here I go….
AWAKE. I haven’t been sleeping as well as I should be. There have been too many nights lately that I lay in bed awake for hours. I have so much in my head and it’s overwhelming.