My friend over at Fashion For Lunch (http://fashionforlunch.wordpress.com/) hosts a sweet blog (<<— that’s it over there <<–) about fashion and product review. She has beautiful style – a little classic, a little eccentric, tons of color. She is a total fashionista. So I’m happy to brag about her and her site (seriously…go check it out
RIGHT NOW as soon as you’re finished reading this post.
And so, not too long ago while out shopping I picked up a jacket that I was inspired to buy after several of her colorful outfits. I told her long ago that I would post it but I never got around to it because I’m
lazy so insanely busy that time would just not allow lazy. So here it is FFF – just for you:
It has a button in the center but the jacket’s a little too big so I cinched it with a belt. One of these days I’ll try and get around to moving the button over or maybe taking the jacket in.
I also picked up this ring about a year and a half ago and I thought FFF would like it…She has tons of cool jewelry:
I normally stick to my regular rings (birthstones and family rings) but I went out on a limb with this one because it’s unique and fun.
I love fashion. I love clothes. And sometimes it is overwhelming and frustrating when I see crimes against fashion. Laziness and bad taste are the causes of a lot of the atrocities I see on the streets. And my opinion (even if I’m being a jerk) is if you’re wearing it in public then it’s open season for you! See below for a few of the crimes I’ve witnessed.
#1 This girl was adorable from the front but when she got in line in front of me I was disgusted. Not because her clothes were several sizes too big and because her pants were jammed up her butt, but moreso because her butt was soaked with what I can only assume was sweat (if you look closely you can see the stains). Road trip?
#2 Angie Whoreface and I were out for a walk thru Town on our lunch break one day and this woman appeared in front of us. I couldn’t resist snapping a pic of her lame ensemble, complete with Billy Ray Cyrus’ tassled suede jacket. What made this even better….she ended up being Angie’s coworker.
#3 This guy (the bald one) we refer to as Super Mario. He’s recently decided that he wants to start wearing women’s clothes. Usually he stands around in our small town in bright stilettos but this day I happened to catch him in flats…and spandex…and a girl’s tank top…and…..*sigh*
#4 A ONESIE? Seriously? No thank you.
#5, 6 and 7 PAJAMA PANTS!!
I’m sorry, it should be against the law for anyone over the age of 4 to wear pajamas out in public. They’re atrocious. And it sorta unsanitary and just a result of pure laziness. My theory: If you’re too lazy to get dressed….STAY HOME!!
The stripes (above) were bad.
You can’t really see the above photo too well but the woman was wearing Eeyore pj pants. Lame. You’re a grown up!
This woman was NASTY! I almost got my ass kicked trying to get this photo on Christmas Eve (at Walmart). She was wearing yellow pj pants, a dirty over-sized sweatshirt and a knitted child’s hat with ears and a nose. I snapped a few pics and had to boot ‘er down the aisles. 🙂 (And yes I am proud of my accomplishment.)
#8 Take a good look. So many things wrong with both these outfits.
#9 This lady (aged probably late 40’s – 50) walked out of the bank ahead of me. She was wearing super high heels from the 80’s, a super short skirt and a camisole. Not a cute cami top but an actual camisole. It was see thru and not appropriate for public wear. She also had some crazy-ass teased hair and loads of black and blue eye shadow. Perdy.
#10 This gal was wearing “work” boots, partly unlaced, too-tight jeans major belt buckle bling. We’re not in the wild west. Blair laughed when I snuck this picture.
#11 This young girl (probably around 18 or 19) was super adorable in her strapless sundress. The only problem with it was that it was way too short. Things were peeking out from underneath. The photo doesn’t do it justice…it was seriously short. Other than that she would have been okay.
#12 This young girl (left) was walking thru Town with who I assumed was her mother. Her entire outfit was a mess but the worst part, like above, was that it was too short. Her butt cheeks were hanging out every which way…among other things. I don’t understand why her parent (or whoever this older person with her is) didn’t say something….then again, look at that mess.
#13 This poor person…yikes! Sort of the opposite of the two above. Her jeans were so tight there was no way for anything to escape. That big black line up the back of her jeans…that’s actual cheek separation. Amy and I spotted her while out for dinner and we nearly lost our appetites.
#14 This idiot couldn’t be bothered to dress properly. Instead she wrapped a blanket around her and wore it shopping.
#15 Is that Minnie Mouse? Is it a portrait from the 80’s?? NO! It’s a big ass hair bow LEFTOVER from the 80’s.
#16 Too tight jeans. Whiskers. Multi-wash. Sandals with socks. Need I say more?
#17 Did you skin a collie to make those boots? Or did you beat up a cheerleader and steal her pom poms?
#18 & 19 MUFFIN TOP
Ladies and Gentleman….if you happen to have a little muffin top please try and dress for your body type. Muffin top is NOT something you’re born with. It’s not genetic. It’s not a curse. Muffin top is simply a result of not dressing properly. If you find yourself with some muffin top the remedy is simple…bigger clothes. If your muffin top is spilling over the sides of your pants it’s because your pants are too tight. There’s nothing wrong with having extra weight. What’s wrong is not dressing for it. You want to flatter your body, not hide it. (And for future incidents…if your MT spills out….please just pull your shirt down.)
#20 This poor boy had a helluva time trying to unload his trunk. Things would have been easier for him had he pulled up his pants. they were down to the back of his knees by the time traffic started again and we caught up to him. *sigh* Boys.
#21 Butt Literature
I am not really a big fan of writing on one’s ass. But this girl’s pants actually said “Heffer”….seriously. So wrong.
Well this was fun. 🙂 I’m sure I’ll hear some backlash from this but I’m okay with it. There are tons of websites out there devoted to bad dressers (People of Walmart, Glamour’s DON’Ts, etc.)…so I’m not the first. If you wanna send me a photo or two to add that would be HILARIOUS! I’d love some contributions.
Anyway, I just had some fruit, which was super delicious, and a small piece of chocolate. Yummy. I sorta feel bad BUT not that bad because Chocolate is My Friend. It was so good. And comforting. I feel better now.
Other things that have made this week “so far, so good”:
1) Winston cuddling his butt up next to mine the other night for warmth. I always enjoy a little love from that cat.
2) Spending much-needed quality time with Lisa-Lou and fam. Including Miss Lilly (“Friend”) and fat-ass Owen…who outweighs my cat by, like, 7 pounds. I think he actually weighs more than Lilly herself (who is almost 3). He’s a very needy animal….and I’m a very needy girl so our relationship works out well when I visit.
3) Having a certain friend tell me I’m special….AND calling me a DORK. I enjoy it. I appreciate the humor and acceptance. And the gift. Thank you. You know who you are.
4) Knowing my slap-bracelet has arrived from Jersey and I just need to pick up my mail from my mom and dad’s. Thank you, Jules. (Check out http://goguiltypleasures.com/ for Julie’s blog for a good time. I’m working on being “out-of-country BFFs”). A blog for her blog coming soon when I’m less
lazy busy and have more time.
5) Almost done Jillian Michael’s 30-Day Shred and knowing my tummy has gotten a tiny bit smaller. Yay!!
6) I bought a gift for someone yesterday and am looking forward to seeing a little excitement when I give it.
7) New Clothes. I am a shopoholic and am proud of it. Jaime…I know you’re gonna make me throw some stuff out now…hows about a little kick to do it?
8) Movie Night – it’s coming soon. I am very excited.
9) Girls’ Night – this weekend….who’s in?
10) Chocolate. Yeah, I know I already mentioned this part but *ahem* it’s quite delish.
Okay..back to work I go. A new blog soon!