Welcome to SANDYLAND!!

Posts tagged “humor

Please Stop…..

A rant.

Stop

Please stop…

…Taking pictures of your dinner.  Unless you have a waiter setting your cheese on fire or there is a 7-tiered waffle cake going on, I don’t need your photos of Mac and Cheese and mashed potatoes spamming up my feed!

…Reading your phone while walking!  Seriously.  You’re going to get hurt.  Especially if I run your ass over.  PUT THE PHONE DOWN and get out of the middle of the street.

walkingLondonReu

Sheep.  Baa Baa

…Using “I” and “me” in the wrong context.  You sound stupid.  This isn’t rocket science.

…Tagging me in rando crap on Facebook with another 47 people.  Really…this is basically chain mail, isn’t it?  Stop it.

…Posting pictures or videos of abused animals.  I don’t want to see it.  I just lost my cat.  I DO NOT want to see photos of animals being tortured or neglected.  JUST STOP.  You’re not making a difference.  We know it’s happening.  I don’t want it creeping into my nightmares.  THERE ARE WAYS TO HELP.  Facebook is not necessarily the way.

…Wearing shoes you can’t walk in.  I’m talking to you girl with the 3 inch stilettos hobbling along, bent over at the waist, trying to stay upright.  If you can’t walk in them, don’t wear them.  You shouldn’t look like a newborn deer or Mr. Magoo.

deer

…Saying you’re not eating carbs.  Especially when you don’t know what a carb is.  Your body needs carbs.  Carrots are carbs.  Apples are carbs.  (And don’t even get me started on Keto!!)

good-carbs-vs-bad-carbs

End of rant.  For now.

~Sandy

Advertisements

You Wanna Buy A Gate?

There’s a scene in the movie Almost Famous where the Stillwater tour bus, after one of the band members is electrocuted on-stage, mows down the locked auditorium gate.

- You want to buy a gate? - Yeah!

There’s also a story in Drew Barrymore’s book Wild Flower where she tells of being young in NYC and returning to her Bronco after a concert in parking complex, only to find that the complex had been locked up….by a 20 foot gate.  Which she proceeded to ram over and over and over and …. well, I won’t finish her story.  But I’ll tell you mine.

My story that is coincidentally very similar.

When I was somewhere around 20 or 21, I went to the see the Tragically Hip in concert in the City with some friends.  My friend David drove and we met up with my best friend and her boyfriend for the concert.  When it was over, we decided to grab food and hang out for a bit.  Dave and I both had to be at work bright and early the next morning (me at 5:30 and him at 6) and it was already very late/really early into the wee hours of the morning.

We had parked at a very popular parking complex and when we finally dragged our butts back to his his, it was basically the only one left in the parkade.  We drove to the gate (not 20 feet high) and plugged in our ticket and nothing happened.  The parkade was now closed and we were trapped.

If you don’t know me, I have very little patience for things like this.  I liked to be punctual and prompt and I don’t like it when unruliness gets thrown into the mix.  After what seemed like a very long wait and trying to figure out what to do in this scenario (which, by the way, in hind sight, likely wasn’t that long of a wait after all), I told Dave, just go through it!  To my surprise – because, although it’s something I totally would have done, it is not at all something Dave would have done on his own and without my prompt), Dave gunned the gas and drove into the gate.  Holy shit!

Doris

The gate budged but it didn’t allow us enough room to pass, so David reversed his little car, then put it back into drive and gunned ‘er again.  RAM!

He did this several times.  Once eventually breaking the arm of the gate and then finally, the rest of the thing pretty much just fell to the ground and we had enough room to pass and leave the parking lot.

I’m sure we laughed at those moments a lot.  And I know we made it to work on time a few hours later.  And I’m sure the first person onsite at the parkade the next morning scratched his head and said “WTF???”  But for us, in the heat of the moment, it was the only way out.  (Sorry Mom.)

 

 


Must-Haves Part 1

Many years ago I made a post about this gorgeous skirt that I had become obsessed with and was determined to find.  It took me a very long time to track down the skirt…which included several trips to H&M (an hour-plus drive away), several phone calls, including calls to stores in other provinces.  It was indeed a quest.  But I got my hands on that skirt and could not have been happier.

And now, I am on quests again for several items.  And so, this post, is likely the first of many.

Where it’s starting is with this gorgeous skirt I came across on the Suzy Shier website.  I had been searching the site and this skirt jumped out at me.  I looked at every single item on Suzy’s website – several times – and was never able to find the skirt as a purchase item.  It is shown (as below) as a model in the Jackets and Blazers section.

Suzy Skirt.jpg

Via Suzy Shier

So, being the sleuth that I am (and after having checked the website several times), I eventually contacted Suzy Shier by email, attaching a photo of the skirt, and asking if it was still available.

Of course Suzy Shier replied right away.  But alas, with the bad news that, of course, it is old stock and no longer available (unless I can find it in the sale/clearance section of one of their stores).  The reply was kind enough to offer a similar skirt, but it is not the skirt. And so, my quest must continue.

~Sandy


Intimate Conversations

This afternoon I walked into a conversation between two of my co-workers.  What I caught was the end of the conversation and co-worker Betty saying “Tonya Harding“.

Co-worker Veronica said “Oh, did you go to school with her?”

Betty and I nearly died laughing.

Tonya Harding~Sandy


Christmas Wish List – Part 4

Copper Roasting Pan

When I was shopping in the US last month, I spotted a gorgeous copper roasting pan (do I sound like Rachel talking about that gravy boat??).  It caught my eye as I was exiting the store and I haven’t stopping thinking about it.  I don’t have a clue why, but I really want that roasting pan.  And, of course, I can’t find it.

There are tons of copper cookware out there – Copper Chef, Copper Cookware, Gotham Steel – but I haven’t found the roasting pan anywhere.  I haven’t even come close.

williams-sonoma-professional-copper-roaster-with-rack-o

This one is Williams Sonoma and is about $543.  Still not the one I want, tho.

 

Paderno

This one is closer to the one I want…it’s Paderno and ranges in price anywhere from $780 to $2,000.  I think it’s lined with cocaine.

Whyyyyy can’t I find the one I saw?  The one I want?  Grrr!

At this point, I think I’d be happy with whatever shape.  I mean, I already have a roaster, but the copper one has been calling my name.

Cheers.


Travel Reads

I’m getting ready to go on vacation next week and will be travelling for a good duration of the time.  And so, I’m going well-prepared with a good book or two.

Book worm

As you may already know, I am an avid reader and usually become so captivated in my reads that I often find that it is all I want to do.

This summer I went thru a slew of books and finished my last John Grisham legal thriller.  I picked up two other non-legals of his, and tried really hard to get into one but just epicly failed (I’ll save it for another time).  So, on a recent shopping trip I was delighted to pick up a few new reads, including the third in the “The Witch of….” series by Suzanne Palmieri.  Last summer I read “The Witch of Belladonna Bay” and followed it with “The Witch of Little Italy” (although, if you’re reading them, reverse the order), and I’ve been on the hunt for the third book “The Witch of Bourbon Street“.   Eureka!  As soon as I started reading it I fell in love with it.  I’m still only a tiny ways into it because I’ve been supremely busy and haven’t had much time to indulge myself, but I am looking forward to zipping thru this third book in the series.

Bourbon Street

I’m heading out on another trip later in the month and I CANNOT WAIT to tell you all about it.  This trip is going to be amazeballs and I am over the moon that I have the opportunity to do it!  But, it’s a surprise so you’ll have to wait to hear about it.

For that trip, I will likely indulge in the other books during my flight.  Eep!  Can’t wait for this one!

~Cheers!


I Carried A Watermelon

My BFF/work-wife, Spanky is currently off on maternity leave.  This girl and I met years ago when we began working together and we became instant friends.  And, although we both had changed job locations, we maintained our friendship AND continued our lunchtime shenanigans all these years.  And now we’re back to working together.  ❤

MUD GIRLS

We just did Mud Hero together Yesterday.  #BFFs

And we have spent 10 years lunching together, walking thru Town, running the trails (training for races), running errands, or just sitting around stuffing our faces.  But one thing has always maintained the same for us, wherever we were and whatever we were doing, you can bet we were laughing our heads off and having more fun than should be allowed.  I have often said I bet people see us each day on our lunchtime ventures and are totally jealous of how much fun we’re having.  In fact, one day, just a few years ago, while running an errand in one of the little shops in downtown, we had a good case of the giggles and could not stop laughing and an onlooker, a chef from one of the local restaurants had been watching us and said he thoroughly enjoyed watching us have so much fun.  See…jealous.

But, when Spanky left to go off and have Baby Ruth I was saddened because I thought I was going to be alone for my lunch hours and, although I can go out and have fun make my own fun any damn time I please, I always enjoy the company.  And, just my luck, Spanky’s work replacement has also become my lunchtime replacement and Boo Boo and I are having tons of fun together.

We decided months ago, when there was still snow on the ground (which, let’s face it, this is Nova Scotia and that means it wasn’t that long ago that there was snow on the ground), that we were going to walk during our breaks.  Actually, it wasn’t so much a decision as it was something that just happened one day and we haven’t stopped.  It’s because of these lunchtime walks that I’m hitting my FitBit step goal way early in the day.

Boo Boo and I walk and laugh every day.  We are having way too much fun and, just like Spanky and I did, we’re making our fun.

One day last week, while out on our roam, we stopped into the local grocery store.  Boo Boo was checking out the watermelons and was intending on picking one up until I reminded her that she’d have to carry a watermelon through town, in 34 degree heat, and we still had a half hour to go on our break.  She left the watermelon there.  But, as we were in the checkout line, I noticed the guy in front of me was holding a watermelon.  When he glanced around at us I said to him “Can you please take that back to work or wherever you’re going and pretend you’re Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing and announce “I CARRIED A WATERMELON”.

I carried a watermelon

Boo Boo held her breath (because I’m a nut!) and the guy just looked at me for a few seconds like a deer caught in headlights and then the both of them cracked up.  He said he had heard us talking by the watermelons as he was picking his out and realized that he would be the one carrying the watermelon thru town in 34 degree heat (with a long-sleeved knit sweater on, mind you) and he felt like a dummy but he wanted to do something nice for his co-workers.

Watermelon

Nice gesture or not, I’d not be carrying a watermelon thru town in the heat.  

The three of us a had a long-lasting chuckle and he kept the conversation going until he finished his purchase and had to leave us, although it seemed like he would have rather stayed with us (Boo Boo said he’s now the president of my fan club).

I’m very thankful to both these gals, Spanky and Boo Boo, because you make my work days a heckuvalot more entertaining.  I soooooo look forward to Spanky’s return because I loooove her.  And I’m keeping Boo Boo too, so we can be the workplace Three Musketeers or Three Amigos – which, with the shenanigans and oopsies, seems a lot more fitting.

I love my life.

#makeyourownadventure

~Cheers

 

 

 


Celebrity BroMances

Is there anything more entertaining in Hollywood than the bromance?  Seriously, I think a good bromance is healthy and sweet and fun…and hysterical.  In fact, I love them so much that I’ve posted on them before (see The Best BROMANCE on TV)

Here are a few of the best bromances in Hollywood.

THE FRAT PACK

Back in the 90’s Hollywood opened its doors to a slew of new young up-and-comers including Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, my boyfriend Cole Hauser, Rory Cochrane, Vince Vaughn, and Chris O’Donnell, to name a few.  This group of guys rotated in the same circles, same movies, and even same homes, often sleeping on each other’s couches off and on for several years.  Most of these guys are still good friends and still pop up in each other’s films.

Check out this episode of Dinner for Five with Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Cole Hauser, Rory Cochrane, and Brian Cox (a bit of an oddball choice here) and make sure you watch “The Phone Booth” at 19:15 for some laughs.

 

SIR IAN MCKELLAN and SIR PATRICK STEWART

Bros hold hands

These two are acting royalty and they have had an ongoing love affair, bromantically, for years.  They have appeared on screen together numerous times (obviously including all the X-Men movies), as well as on stage.  Their friendship is one of longevity, laughter, and love.  We can all strive for this kind of affection.

Stewart McKellan

Watch the Sirs play the Newlywed Game.  Too funny!

It’s like everything they do is perfection.

22 Times Patrick Stewart And Ian McKellen Proved They Are The Greatest Best Friends Of 2013

Old Man BFFs!!! #squadgoals

MICHAEL FASSBENDER AND JAMES MCAVOY (and HUGH JACKMAN)

Dancing Dudes

Speaking of the X-Men movies, let us not forget the most recent bromance from that franchise.  That being Michael Fassbender (playing young Ian McKellan) and James McAvoy (playing young Patrick Stewart).

(Fun fact:  Patrick Stewart has two roles in common with James McAvoy: McAvoy played Macbeth in ShakespeaRe-Told: Macbeth while Stewart played him in Great Performances: Macbeth and Stewart played Professor Charles Xavier in X-Men, X-Men 2, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Wolverine, and X-Men: Days of Future Past, while McAvoy played him in X-Men: First Class, X-Men: Days of Future Past, and X-Men: Apocalypse.  They also each share the role of Macbeth with their respective Magnetos, Ian McKellan and Michael Fassbender (IMDB).

"X-Men: Days Of Future Past" - UK Premiere - Red Carpet Arrivals

The most epic of bromances!

Apparently, James and Michael have a huge fan-base for their bromance.  People have dedicated fan-art and fan-fiction to the friendship between these two.  It’s not hard to see why, they do seem to have that..spark.

JamesMichael

So sweet…so touching

19 Times McAvoy And Fassbender Were The Definition Of Friendship Goals

Hugh Jackman (newest future husband!) sometimes seems like a third wheel but, watch the threesome’s appearance on the Graham Norton show and you can see why he is included in this as a trio.  Like Dinner for Five, I have watched this interview over and over.  It is hilarious!  It actually makes me want to be part of a bromance.

*sigh* Again, #goals.

HUGH JACKMAN and ANY Co-Star!

It is no secret that Hugh Jackman is one of the nicest, most charming men in Hollywood. And it seems all of his co-stars fall madly in love with him too.  Aside from the trio above, Hugh is loved by many:

HUGH JACKMAN and Jake Gyllenhaal

Flowers

(Prisoners)

HUGH JACKMAN and Patrick Stewart

Here’s that X-Men connection again.  These two have appeared onscreen together a bazillion times and it seems like their friendship just.might.last.

Hugh and Patrick

HUGH JACKMAN and Ryan Reynolds

Hugh and Ryan

Although they totally troll each other on social media and in interviews, these two seem to have a fun bromantic chemistry.  The two have been friends for years (having worked together on X-Men: Origins – Wolverine) and like to pop up in each other’s lives here and there.  Ryan even hijacked Hugh’s interview while he was doing press for Eddie the Eagle (a great movie, btw).

It seems that these two good ol’ boys do have a sweet affection for each other.  One that almost borderlines…Single White Female.

Face masks

This isn’t creepy.  Not.At.All!!

Wouldn’t the world be such a better place if we could all love our co-workers as much as all of these mates seem to.

#friendshipgoals

~Cheers


Christmas Wish List – Part 2

Some of you may not know this about me, but I am a huge Star Wars nerd.  I mean, I’m not a super geek or anything, but I grew up watching Stars Wars (likely where my initial love for Harrison Ford began, followed, of course, by Indiana Jones), I played Star Wars with my brother and cousins, I even have a crazy Chewbacca doll from when a Christmas when I was very little ….this one, actually:

chewbacca-doll

Apparently, these dolls are worth a ton of money these days…especially if they have the ammo belts – WHICH MINE DOES!

And a few weeks ago, while in Florida, I got to meet Chewy himself.  It was an incredible moment for us both. 😉

chewy

NEW BEST FRIEND ALERT!!  We had a special moment.  The dude wookie and I are near soul mates.

So, for the past couple of years I have been wanting, desperately, a Han Solo cell phone case.  I mean, this is pretty much the coolest thing ever created.

han-solo-phone-case

FYI: I have a crappy Samsung Galaxy S4 (which I hate, btw)

I keep going to order one, but never do.  I have also been wanting, yet, it remains in my unshipped cart, a Daryl Dixon phone case.  Just because it looks super rad (and, of course, because it’s Daryl Dixon):

daryl-dixon-phone-cae

How fly would my shitty Samsung look wrapped up in leather and wings???

In the meantime, while I wait patiently for Santa to find me, if you see this guy around, will you send him my way?  PLEASE:

harrison

Adorbs!!

~Cheers


Tales from the Fog

Last weekend I got a hankerin’ to start my Halloween movie watching – albeit a little early.  With the coolness in the air last weekend, and now that the leaves are starting to change color and develop their crisp, Autumn scent, it seemed appropriate that my viewing  would come sooner this year.

My beau and I were talking about Stephen King’s Silver Bullet and, of course, that’s what I decided to spend a late, lazy Sunday afternoon watching.  After spending nearly all of my weekend working on my fitness biz, it was a perfect-ish way to relax for a few hours.

silver-bullter

Total 80’s creepiness and fromage.  Oh-so-fromage.

And, as always, Silver Bullet did not let me down.  Corey Haim and Megan Follows are forever perfect as Jane and Marty, siblings dueling with each other, and with a werewolf – with a conscience.

haim-and-follows

Childhood horror heroes (and Anne of Green Gables, yo)

And, of course, we can’t forget Gary Busey.  I love that dude.  He is spazz-tastic.  Just say no to drugs, kids.

gary-busey

Um….caption this….anyone?

So, there I was, Sunday evening, watching Silver Bullet with not another thought to it.  A movie I’d seen a bunch of times before.  And all was well.

Then, Monday morning came.  Eaaarly Monday morning.  I’ve been teaching fitness classes in the park very early Monday mornings since the summer and as the summer came closer to ending, the later the sun has been rising.  And last week when I went out, not only was it pitch dark, it was foggy.  There was a thick rolling fog.  Perfect for a nervous Nelly….and werewolves.

As I’m waiting for my class participants to arrive, I’m sitting in my car, doors locked, of course, staring down over the park, trying to see through the thickness of the fog.  And texting my friend about the possibility of werewolf attacks.  She called me a fool and said there was no such thing as werewolves.

werewolf_hunting_woods_fog_night

Don’t think I DON’T see you lurking there.  This was pretty much my view at  the park.  Pretty much.  😉

But, I’m pretty sure that the last person who got attacked by a werewolf was certain there was no such thing as werewolves.

Next up (hopefully):  Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original!)

~Sandy