And it’s like the universe was delivering signs of him to me everywhere I turned. Even the name “Jordan”, a name that is not super popular, was now appearing all over the place. Day after day after day I would see his name, in one variation or another, in everything a dozen times a day. I kid you not. I’d walk into a book store and the first book I’d see would be by an author named Jordan. Television show credits, which I normally wouldn’t pay attention to, were now written, starring, directed by Jordan Somebody. Articles in magazines or conversations among friends would be about a Jordan. And my friends would out-of-the-blue start talking about Jordan….MY JORDAN. It was uncanny. But it became an inevitable part of my daily goings on.
Then it happened.
One night we ended up at the same location – unplanned, but not completely unheard of. We both had an idea of where the other would be and it seemed kismet that we would end up at the same locale. A random party.
I was making my way around the room, mingling. Enjoying the party and the people I was running into. And there he was.
We laughed and we chatted. I tried as best as I could to keep some distance between me and Jordan – just to be on the cautious side. And because I like to spread my wings when I’m out. (I am the social butterfly.)
As the evening progressed, I eventually made my way to the dance floor with some friends. Enjoying the music and the moment. And within a minute, Jordan appeared at my side. We danced together within the group, and finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, I finally got to touch him. An innocent hand on a hip as we swayed (not really – it was insanely giddy music) – but it was enough to send heat through my veins and sparks through the air. That one touch between us was worth every moment on earth.
We began that day to talk on a consistent basis. Like, every day. At first it was idle chit chat; small talk. The two of us just trying to figure the other out without really getting into too much detail. But within the first week of our initial friendship, Jordan started showing up at places he knew I’d be. Places I’d talked about in random conversations but that I never would have expected him to appear at. Places that I’d mentioned in conversations with others while in earshot of him. Places that were completely out of his way. But he made the trips to see me. He’d pop in here and there to just say hello, have a quick conversation, and then be on his merry way.
From that day on, Jordan was on my mind all the time, and he was in my head. He was all I could think about. It was sickening, really. It’s as if I ached for him – to be around him, and it was like getting punched in the heart when I wasn’t. Those moments I couldn’t see him or speak to him were killing me. My anxiety levels shot through the roof and felt sick at the thought of seeing him AND at the thought of not seeing him. But he was there…everywhere I looked, I saw Jordan.
…to be continued.
I was literally mesmerized by him. By everything about him; his energy, his positivity, his kindness, not to mention his good looks. What’s really funny is that he is not what I would have normally considered “my type”. But there was something about my Jordan that I just couldn’t shake and the attraction was stronger than any other I had known.
When those two days finally passed and I was about to be near him again, I could barely contain my excitement. It was complete insanity to be this excited over someone I didn’t really know. But as soon as I saw him, I understood it once again.
We saw each other and it was like the world around us was set on fire. We were in a very crowded room among a frenzy of people and I had to leave. I hate crowds (and sometimes people) and it was all too much – Jordan or not, I had to escape. So, I went out into the hallway where the crowd was lessened and the noise was minimized. And as I waited for my friends and for the event to start, the door opened and out came Jordan. His beautiful bright smile was directed at me and while he busied himself, he stood next to me and engaged me in conversation. It was everything a young (or old) girl could have asked for.
After the event, I was once again trapped in that small room with him again. And like the two days prior, once the crowd thinned out, it was just a small group of the same people left. And here we were – Jordan and me (and it seemed, no one else) chatting away as if we’d known our entire lives that this moment was meant to be.
…to be continued.
Remember “My So-Called Life”? That ridiculously real show from the 90’s that launched the careers of Claire Danes and Jared Leto? Remember how Claire’s Angela pined for Jared’s Jordan? (“Don’t you just love how he leans?”)
Jordan Catalano was the epitome of teenage boy crushes. Because he embodied everything we had imagined, our entire lives, our soulmate to be. Jordan was imperfectly perfect.
I’m sure we have all experienced a love like that of Jordan Catalano.
The one guy who you see for just a split moment in time and you simply….fall.
You can’t sleep without dreaming of him, you can’t eat, you see him in everything you do; his name is written on every page or sign. You simply can’t function because your “Jordan” is everywhere.
I remember the first time I saw my Jordan. I noticed him from across a very large and crowded room. I recognized his name, but had never actually met him. I will admit, although he was not what I expected, he caught my eye.
The next time I saw him, several weeks later, my eyes lingered on him for a long while. An amidst a sordid incident with others, I felt an unrelenting need to protect him. That same day, I found myself in his presence, hearing him speak and being in close proximity to him. And I can say this with complete honesty, I have never wanted to physically put my hands on another person so badly in my entire life. Standing just a few feet away from him, all I wanted to do was reach out and touch him; to graze even just his stomach. I had never been this physically drawn to someone before. And maybe never since.
Less than a week later, I was sharing space with him again. We spoke briefly before an event and it was as if the world stopped around us for those few moments. Mini fireworks seemed to go off in the background while we chatted. For the next hour, we watched each other from across a room. Eyes meeting eyes. And then once again, we were next to each other in a small room, amidst a small crowd, and once our eyes met, they never left each other.
From that moment, I could not stop thinking of him. He was on my mind constantly. The mere thought of him made me dizzy and I often had a hard time catching my breath. And each and every time we spoke by phone or email or in person, my heart rate would jump and the butterflies in my stomach would swirl around in a frenzy. When I had plans to see him again just two days later, I couldn’t shake the feelings of excitement, nervousness, and anxiety. Here was this boy that I barely knew, and I was headed to see him. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, and my breathing labored…or at least it felt that way. I felt like I was on a roller-coaster that would never end. I spent those two days thinking of him…of nothing but him. I was like a kid at Christmas waiting for Santa.
….To Be Continued.
I’m getting ready to go on vacation next week and will be travelling for a good duration of the time. And so, I’m going well-prepared with a good book or two.
As you may already know, I am an avid reader and usually become so captivated in my reads that I often find that it is all I want to do.
This summer I went thru a slew of books and finished my last John Grisham legal thriller. I picked up two other non-legals of his, and tried really hard to get into one but just epicly failed (I’ll save it for another time). So, on a recent shopping trip I was delighted to pick up a few new reads, including the third in the “The Witch of….” series by Suzanne Palmieri. Last summer I read “The Witch of Belladonna Bay” and followed it with “The Witch of Little Italy” (although, if you’re reading them, reverse the order), and I’ve been on the hunt for the third book “The Witch of Bourbon Street“. Eureka! As soon as I started reading it I fell in love with it. I’m still only a tiny ways into it because I’ve been supremely busy and haven’t had much time to indulge myself, but I am looking forward to zipping thru this third book in the series.
I’m heading out on another trip later in the month and I CANNOT WAIT to tell you all about it. This trip is going to be amazeballs and I am over the moon that I have the opportunity to do it! But, it’s a surprise so you’ll have to wait to hear about it.
For that trip, I will likely indulge in the other books during my flight. Eep! Can’t wait for this one!
My BFF/work-wife, Spanky is currently off on maternity leave. This girl and I met years ago when we began working together and we became instant friends. And, although we both had changed job locations, we maintained our friendship AND continued our lunchtime shenanigans all these years. And now we’re back to working together. ❤
And we have spent 10 years lunching together, walking thru Town, running the trails (training for races), running errands, or just sitting around stuffing our faces. But one thing has always maintained the same for us, wherever we were and whatever we were doing, you can bet we were laughing our heads off and having more fun than should be allowed. I have often said I bet people see us each day on our lunchtime ventures and are totally jealous of how much fun we’re having. In fact, one day, just a few years ago, while running an errand in one of the little shops in downtown, we had a good case of the giggles and could not stop laughing and an onlooker, a chef from one of the local restaurants had been watching us and said he thoroughly enjoyed watching us have so much fun. See…jealous.
But, when Spanky left to go off and have Baby Ruth I was saddened because I thought I was going to be alone for my lunch hours and, although I can go out and
have fun make my own fun any damn time I please, I always enjoy the company. And, just my luck, Spanky’s work replacement has also become my lunchtime replacement and Boo Boo and I are having tons of fun together.
We decided months ago, when there was still snow on the ground (which, let’s face it, this is Nova Scotia and that means it wasn’t that long ago that there was snow on the ground), that we were going to walk during our breaks. Actually, it wasn’t so much a decision as it was something that just happened one day and we haven’t stopped. It’s because of these lunchtime walks that I’m hitting my FitBit step goal way early in the day.
Boo Boo and I walk and laugh every day. We are having way too much fun and, just like Spanky and I did, we’re making our fun.
One day last week, while out on our roam, we stopped into the local grocery store. Boo Boo was checking out the watermelons and was intending on picking one up until I reminded her that she’d have to carry a watermelon through town, in 34 degree heat, and we still had a half hour to go on our break. She left the watermelon there. But, as we were in the checkout line, I noticed the guy in front of me was holding a watermelon. When he glanced around at us I said to him “Can you please take that back to work or wherever you’re going and pretend you’re Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing and announce “I CARRIED A WATERMELON”.
Boo Boo held her breath (because I’m a nut!) and the guy just looked at me for a few seconds like a deer caught in headlights and then the both of them cracked up. He said he had heard us talking by the watermelons as he was picking his out and realized that he would be the one carrying the watermelon thru town in 34 degree heat (with a long-sleeved knit sweater on, mind you) and he felt like a dummy but he wanted to do something nice for his co-workers.
The three of us a had a long-lasting chuckle and he kept the conversation going until he finished his purchase and had to leave us, although it seemed like he would have rather stayed with us (Boo Boo said he’s now the president of my fan club).
I’m very thankful to both these gals, Spanky and Boo Boo, because you make my work days a heckuvalot more entertaining. I soooooo look forward to Spanky’s return because I loooove her. And I’m keeping Boo Boo too, so we can be the workplace Three Musketeers or Three Amigos – which, with the shenanigans and oopsies, seems a lot more fitting.
I love my life.
Hmmm….another thought provoking question today. I’m not in the mood for something thought provoking.
I mean, I could forgive Dylan for cheating on Brenda with Kelly. And I could forgive CBS for cancelling Eastwick way too soon. And I could forgive Blair for eating my chocolate egg. And I could forgive Winston for chewing up the bathtub plug (and phone cord, and Christmas tree lights, and my hair….). I’m a very forgiving person. Steph tells me I’m too forgiving (but I forgive her for that). Remember what they say: To Err is Human; To Forgive is Divine. I thoroughly believe that.
****Let me just say this, tho….I may forgive but I never forget. (Insert malicious laughter here)****
Hmm….I guess the most difficult thin I’ve had to forgive is death. Lame? Maybe. It’s understandable that death occurs. But sometimes it is so painfully difficult to let go of someone that the pain turns to anger or personal hurt. Maybe the most difficult part is forgiving myself for feeling that way.
Weekdays – Get up, feed and water animal. Prepare for work. Go to work. Work. Have lunch with Angie Whoreface and Kritt. Leave work. Work out. (Monday = gym, Barre, Yoga / Thursday = gym, Zumba, yoga – every other day is either gym, run or home workout). Some evenings (depends on his work schedule) I am shacked up with Blair, the other evenings I am home (quality time with animal). Sleep.
Weekends – Get up, workout, prepare for the day. Run errands (aka run the roads). Visit friends/family. Head to Blair’s. Dilly-dally. Prepare dinner and hang out. Sleep.
This week is BIRTHDAY WEEK so there will be lots of running around and whatnot. I am spoiled and I also like to spoil myself. I’m not above that.
1) I got so much accomplished today. I’ve been wanting to clean my car (inside and out) for a while now and things just kept coming up. So I got at ‘er this morning and it’s finito. I also spent a lot of time cleaning my house today. Yay!!!
2) The night is still young. I’m gonna sit back and have a glass of wine – which should be interesting since I haven’t had a thing to eat in 8 hours (I was busy – see #1), work on my fall decorating, make some energy bars and likely grab some real dinner.
3) I got to see many people I love this weekend: Blair, my nephews, my brother (DON’T tell him I said I love him), my sister in law, my parents, Amy Whoreface (and her mini me), some other family members/friends….and Winston! 🙂
4) Blair and I have been invited – AND ARE ACTUALLY GOING – to a Halloween party. I’m super excited. We get invited to things like this all the time but it’s rare that we get to go….usually work or life comes up. So, in addition, I get to come up with great Halloween costumes (I’m also open to suggestions).
5) The weather. This morning was hot and humid, even early. When I left for the gym at 9am it was already kind of icky but as the day went on it got breezy and the sky has slowly darkened and right now it’s beautiful and it feels like I should be sitting in New Orleans preparing for some eerie Southern storm.