Winston died 4 weeks ago today. This morning, actually. And although I am still in full devastation mode, the days have been seemingly a teensy bit better. I can’t imagine I’ll ever get over this loss, but I’m managing.
The morning he died, we had a delivery to my office and one of the delivery men was my friend’s “little” brother. I say that but I suppose once you hit a certain age, you stop referring to people as little anything. I was surprised to see him because he is not our usual delivery person. But there were two of them so he might have been in training that morning.
My office door had been closed most of that day because I was bawling the entire day and just honestly didn’t feel like talking to anyone. But for some reason, my door was open when these guys came in. I think maybe someone had been in back with me checking on me. Little Brother and the other delivery guy popped around the corner to make their way downstairs and spotted me in my office….crying. I said hello, as one does, and they both stopped with sheer concern on their respective faces and asked if I was okay. My coworker announced the news that my Winston had just died that morning. They both expressed condolences, and Little Brother came right in and gave me a big hug. He started exclaiming to his colleague that “Sandy is the love of my life. I have loved her since I was 10 years old!”
Apparently, I was Little Brother’s big crush. I had no idea. His sister and I were such good friend in high school and the years that followed and spent a lot of time at each other’s houses. How did I not know this? Maybe it’s because he was Little Brother. Just a cute little blond teddy bear that always says hi and hugs me through the years when we see each other. I never thought twice about it….
But would you look at that? I was someone else’s Jordan Catalano.
I was literally mesmerized by him. By everything about him; his energy, his positivity, his kindness, not to mention his good looks. What’s really funny is that he is not what I would have normally considered “my type”. But there was something about my Jordan that I just couldn’t shake and the attraction was stronger than any other I had known.
When those two days finally passed and I was about to be near him again, I could barely contain my excitement. It was complete insanity to be this excited over someone I didn’t really know. But as soon as I saw him, I understood it once again.
We saw each other and it was like the world around us was set on fire. We were in a very crowded room among a frenzy of people and I had to leave. I hate crowds (and sometimes people) and it was all too much – Jordan or not, I had to escape. So, I went out into the hallway where the crowd was lessened and the noise was minimized. And as I waited for my friends and for the event to start, the door opened and out came Jordan. His beautiful bright smile was directed at me and while he busied himself, he stood next to me and engaged me in conversation. It was everything a young (or old) girl could have asked for.
After the event, I was once again trapped in that small room with him again. And like the two days prior, once the crowd thinned out, it was just a small group of the same people left. And here we were – Jordan and me (and it seemed, no one else) chatting away as if we’d known our entire lives that this moment was meant to be.
…to be continued.
#23 – My Celebrity Crush:
Ahhh….celebrity crushes. We all have them. They’re wonderful little slips on reality and let us drift off to the land of glamour.
I have had a massive celebrity crush on Cole Hauser since I was 15 when I saw him in School Ties. He’s one of those actors who doesn’t get nearly enough recognition or appreciation. He’s so good in everything he does. And he is the reason I originally boycotted Friends back in the day (his show High Incident was on opposite of Friends and couldn’t compete with the ratings of Must See TV and after two superb seasons it was cancelled). He’s been in tons of movies and several tv shows, yet, not nearly enough people know who he is. So I’m telling you: COLE HAUSER IS THE SHIT!!!!
Scott Caan – I’ve already talked about his Bromance on Hawaii Five-0 and his Golden Globe nomination. He’s so adorable. I enjoy Monday nights with him.
Harrison Ford – Hello!! He is THE MAN. I grew up watching everything Harrison Ford – from Star Wars to Indiana Jones to Hollywood Homicide (*yawn*). He is the King of Hollywood. I love him. He will forever be referred to as “my future husband” (as is how I referred to him in high school and beyond).
Jim Cuddy – The man with the rich voice. I can remember, vividly, the first time I heard Blue Rodeo’s Try. I was 11. It was a song that stopped me in my tracks. I had no idea people could sing like that. And Pull Me Through reignited that flame. I was lucky enough to meet him a few years ago and he was so funny and gracious. I even bought the man a glass of wine. Definitely a highlight of my pathetic little life. 🙂