V – Valley
I live in the Annapolis VALLEY and this weekend is the 87th Annual Apple Blossom Festival. Which means, there are fireworks and a parade, and a fair, and tons of bands and dances and music and food and drink. And lots of people. Lots and lots of people. It’s basically a homecoming for us. I’m excited.
Finding a decent person or friend can often be rare. So when you find that person – a good-spirited, kind, patient, and understanding human, hang onto him or her. Those people, it seems in this day and age, are a rarity. Unique little gems.
J – Journal
I used to journal consistently. For years and years I would write every single thing I felt, thought, breathed. About 10 years or so ago I stopped. I would maybe write here and there, but I had no real reasoning for it. So, I just stopped.
But I loved my journaling and I loved my writing. I sometimes will go back and read some of the things I’d written. A lot of my writing came from pain. Sadness. Depression. It almost seems like my writing is better when it comes from that dark hole in my heart and head.
I have brought journals to my friends too. Many times. In fact, one of my best friends was having PTSD issues and anxiety this past year after being in a car accident and I bought her the most gorgeous journal. Just so that she could get out the naggy little irritants eating away at her
And recently, as in just a few weeks ago, I put together a stress kit for another friend and included a journal. I don’t know if he’ll use it (do guys do much journaling??), but at least it’s there for him. Even if he uses it once, I feel like it would be a triumph.
So, there you go. J is for journal.
F- Fester (and Friends)
1. First of all, I have to say I have the most incredible group of friends. They are seriously so great. They have stuck by me and kept me busy and won’t give me any (or much) alone time lately. And for that, I am so thankful.
2. When Winston died in October I was shattered. A great big chunk of my soul died with him and I vowed to not get another pet. Unless it can be guaranteed to live forever, I didn’t want another animal. But for the last 6 or so months, I’ve felt like I’ve had this gaping hole in my heart because I miss him so much. I wavered about the idea of adopting another animal, but when I met her, I knew she was the one. Her big blue eyes looked back at me with adoration and I swooned. I have welcomed her into my home and my heart with open arms, and we are so in love.
I initially thought that a new kitten would be a boy, like Winston, and so I decided to call him Uncle Fester. But, since this little lady is a lady, the Fester has stuck, to the dismay of many others, but she gets Fessie and Kitty often. The Fester is sticking.
I love celebrity lookalikes. Sometimes, when I’m watching TV or a movie, I can’t get it out of my head how much one actor looks like another. This was the case again last night which is why I figured it was finally time to do a Part 4.
The very first time I watched Matt Leblanc’s newest show, Man With a Plan I was stumped for a bit….trying to rack my brain to figure out who Lowell reminded me of. Then suddenly it hit me!
Lowell….looks (and sounds!) just like…..
Hermey from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer!
A few years ago there was a character on The Walking Dead named Eric. He was Aaron’s boyfriend and he bit the dust in a hard way. Whenever I saw him on screen, I thought he could be Alicia Witt’s twin.
Ever think you’re seeing double? What about triple?
Emily Osment and Carrie Underwood often look like the same person. But Jessica Lowe (aka the boob shaking new wife in Blended (with Drew Barrymore)) has the same nose and bears an unremarkable resemblance to Emily Osment. When I first saw Blended, I totally thought I was watching Emily Osment.
You may recall I was (am) a huge fan of the original 90210. So, of course when the new redux series started, I had to watch. My friend Amy (Amy Whoreface) had a big crush on Matt Lanter from the show. He wasn’t Dylan and the show wasn’t the original.
And speaking of not living up to the original (although most people disagree with this one), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series, in my opinion, sucked. Maybe I felt that way because I was part of that cult following the movie and think, although it oozed fromage, it was stinkin’ perfect. (Plus, it had Luke Perry – aka Dylan.). And since I didn’t much care for the series, I didn’t much care for its actors, including Riley aka Marc Blucas…but maybe Amy Whoreface would have liked him. (PS. Sorry Cat!)
*whew* That was a roundabout way of getting to my point, wasn’t it?
Back in the Dawson’s Creek days, I always thought Kerr Smith (Jack) and Julian McMahon (Cole on the original Charmed) were older and younger versions of each other.
But also….I was watching some a few months ago and I saw this guy who I thought was Kerr Smith, but it was some dude named Wes Brown.
Seriously? How are these people NOT related??
Speaking of 90210 earlier, Ryan Eggold, who’s now the star of New Amsterdam, also played a teacher, Ryan, on the new 90210. Back in that day (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t that long ago), he looked a lot like Justin Chadwin.
Justin Chadwin definitely has a more square-shaped head, but that considering, they could be related.
Now that Ryan Eggold has moved onto playing a Doctor on New Amsterdam and has that gnarly buzz cut, he looks a lot like Matthew Fox when he played a (stranded) Doctor on Lost and sported a buzz cut.
I tried really hard to find pics of them both in scrubs but…I just wasn’t finding what I needed. I would still let either of them kiss my boo boo better.
I know I’m not the only one who has thought this about this next one – I’ve heard other comments about it. “Hey, doesn’t that girl look like the girl from Saved by the Bell?“
I’m sure it’s the eyes and the round cheeks and the hair…..and, of course, the boobs.
And lastly, what got me to stop being lazy and finally make this new post of twinsies.
Last night I was watching Law & Order: SVU and it was driving me nuts how familiar the main guest start looked. I checked out her profile on IMDB and I’d never heard of her. Then it hit me with a *thunk*.
This woman, Willa Fitzgerald….
Looks like a blond version of Rachel Weisz.
Still not quite convinced? (I swear, you need to see her in person aka on screen) to really see it.)
Well…do you see them? All the resemblances?
Who else will be popping up? We’ll have to wait and see.
As you may know, I lost my beloved Winston in mid-October and I continue to mourn him. I miss him beyond expectation and I still, at the very least, get a lump in my throat when I talk to him. More often than not, however, there are tears.
The other night I went out for Merry Christmas festivities with some girlfriends and had a little gift exchange. One gift bag had a big bottle of wine and a gorgeous pair of earrings. And a box. The box was light as air and when I opened it, it was full of tissue paper. When I put my hand in and felt the roundness of a ball, I knew exactly what it was. I said “Is this going to make me cry??”
Of course it made me cry. How amazingly thoughtful.
Late that night when I finally got home, I put the ornament on my tree. I made a special place for
it him – right in front where he belongs. Not much later I was on my couch watching an old SNL Christmas special, I heard a rustling under my tree – in and about the Christmas presents. I’m sure it was a bag of gifts shifting, but in my heart, I’m going to hang on to the belief that Winston is with me. In my heart and in spirit.
Last night it snowed. And it snowed a lot. At least it snowed at Honey Boo Boo’s. It came down fast and heavy and covered the ground and the trees with a fierceness and a beauty that only December can bring.
And now it’s Sunday evening and it is raining – heavy and wet and mixed with ice. Rain that is coming down so fast and heavy with its own fierceness, I can hear it beating off the window. Weather that seemingly only Nova Scotia can bring.
And I’m pissed! I was all set to go to a community Christmas Tree lightening tonight with my BFF and her little one. My first tree lighting/community anything in a very long time. In fact, I was more than set. I was there. I parked just on the outskirts of town, all bundled up, and I walked to the centre where the “show” was supposed to happen. It had just started a bit of freezing rain when I left and I had my umbrella in hand, but I didn’t expect the down pour that’s happening outside right now. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I brought it.
Once Spanky and her mini-me and family arrived, we were told that the tree lighting happened a half hour before. Uh, what? It was supposed to happen at 6pm! But those mofos lit that damn tree up at 5:30. Grrr.
So, since it was raining, there was no point in standing around in the cold and damp, we said our goodbyes and I declined a drive back out of town to my car. I wanted the walk, regardless of the weather. And since I missed a tree lighting, I decides to take a picture of the decorated lawn trees I passed on my way in and out of town.
Ah well…It was a short 40 minute adventure that I rather enjoyed.
I’ve been very sad since my poor Winston died last month. I would never have expected that I would miss a cat so much…but whenever I think about him, I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes and almost always, the inevitable crying happens.
Then a week and a half ago, I smoked a deer with my car. Ugh!! My luck is sucktastic. Fortunately, I was able to brake a bit and just nailed him in the ass. But still….the thought of harming an animal – especially after losing my cat – is stressful and hard on the nerves…and heart. AND I’m out a car for a month. (The deer is fine, by the way. He was a big boy and kept on going.)
And last week we had a bunch of crap snow and ice storming here in Nova Scotia (schools were shut down for 3 days) and the roads were a mess so travel was limited.
Needless to say, with all that’s been going on, I’ve been feeling pretty blue.
So Saturday my best friend and I made a road trip into the City for all the Black Friday deals and Christmas shopping. We had a hoot of a time.
She is the girl that I laugh with most. We basically have our own language – some made up words, some singing, some animal sounds, and a whole lot of cursing.
And on top of spending the entire day with her outside of work (yep, we work together), I bought myself a new lipstick. A bright rosy color that is normally out of my pallet (and not for this time of year). Whowuddathunk that a lipstick could boost your mood? I mean, I always feel better with lipstick on anyway, but this pink is making me feel sassy and smiley!
The day in its entirety cheered me up.
Winston died 4 weeks ago today. This morning, actually. And although I am still in full devastation mode, the days have been seemingly a teensy bit better. I can’t imagine I’ll ever get over this loss, but I’m managing.
The morning he died, we had a delivery to my office and one of the delivery men was my friend’s “little” brother. I say that but I suppose once you hit a certain age, you stop referring to people as little anything. I was surprised to see him because he is not our usual delivery person. But there were two of them so he might have been in training that morning.
My office door had been closed most of that day because I was bawling the entire day and just honestly didn’t feel like talking to anyone. But for some reason, my door was open when these guys came in. I think maybe someone had been in back with me checking on me. Little Brother and the other delivery guy popped around the corner to make their way downstairs and spotted me in my office….crying. I said hello, as one does, and they both stopped with sheer concern on their respective faces and asked if I was okay. My coworker announced the news that my Winston had just died that morning. They both expressed condolences, and Little Brother came right in and gave me a big hug. He started exclaiming to his colleague that “Sandy is the love of my life. I have loved her since I was 10 years old!”
Apparently, I was Little Brother’s big crush. I had no idea. His sister and I were such good friend in high school and the years that followed and spent a lot of time at each other’s houses. How did I not know this? Maybe it’s because he was Little Brother. Just a cute little blond teddy bear that always says hi and hugs me through the years when we see each other. I never thought twice about it….
But would you look at that? I was someone else’s Jordan Catalano.
Remember “My So-Called Life”? That ridiculously real show from the 90’s that launched the careers of Claire Danes and Jared Leto? Remember how Claire’s Angela pined for Jared’s Jordan? (“Don’t you just love how he leans?”)
Jordan Catalano was the epitome of teenage boy crushes. Because he embodied everything we had imagined, our entire lives, our soulmate to be. Jordan was imperfectly perfect.
I’m sure we have all experienced a love like that of Jordan Catalano.
The one guy who you see for just a split moment in time and you simply….fall.
You can’t sleep without dreaming of him, you can’t eat, you see him in everything you do; his name is written on every page or sign. You simply can’t function because your “Jordan” is everywhere.
I remember the first time I saw my Jordan. I noticed him from across a very large and crowded room. I recognized his name, but had never actually met him. I will admit, although he was not what I expected, he caught my eye.
The next time I saw him, several weeks later, my eyes lingered on him for a long while. An amidst a sordid incident with others, I felt an unrelenting need to protect him. That same day, I found myself in his presence, hearing him speak and being in close proximity to him. And I can say this with complete honesty, I have never wanted to physically put my hands on another person so badly in my entire life. Standing just a few feet away from him, all I wanted to do was reach out and touch him; to graze even just his stomach. I had never been this physically drawn to someone before. And maybe never since.
Less than a week later, I was sharing space with him again. We spoke briefly before an event and it was as if the world stopped around us for those few moments. Mini fireworks seemed to go off in the background while we chatted. For the next hour, we watched each other from across a room. Eyes meeting eyes. And then once again, we were next to each other in a small room, amidst a small crowd, and once our eyes met, they never left each other.
From that moment, I could not stop thinking of him. He was on my mind constantly. The mere thought of him made me dizzy and I often had a hard time catching my breath. And each and every time we spoke by phone or email or in person, my heart rate would jump and the butterflies in my stomach would swirl around in a frenzy. When I had plans to see him again just two days later, I couldn’t shake the feelings of excitement, nervousness, and anxiety. Here was this boy that I barely knew, and I was headed to see him. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, and my breathing labored…or at least it felt that way. I felt like I was on a roller-coaster that would never end. I spent those two days thinking of him…of nothing but him. I was like a kid at Christmas waiting for Santa.
….To Be Continued.